6 Things men hate to hear from their wives


You're bound to say some tone-deaf things to your spouse every so often.

But there are some phrases you should absolutely never say. Read on to find out the most annoying things men report hearing from their spouses...

1 “NEVERMIND, I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF“

Marriage pro tip:When you ask your spouse to call the plumber to fix the sink,give him a chance to do it. Rolling your eyes and saying, “nevermind, I'll do it myself“ may result in you getting your sink fixed sooner, but it's also likely to rub your spouse the wrong way . “Chances are, he wants to help you and make you happy ,“ said Anne Crowley , a psychologist. “It's a frustrating phrase for a husband to hear because it suggests you don't think he's capable of completing the task and don't need him,“ she says.

2 “YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN“

You're setting yourself up for disappoint ment if you expect your hubby to decipher every last gesture and statement you make, said Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist. “Women become upset when their husbands can't read between the lines or read their minds but guys are notoriously poor mind readers,“ he said. “Wives will save themselves a lot of grief if they can come to accept this and just ask for what they want,“ he adds.

3 “DO YOU THINK SHE'S HOT?“

Do you really want to know your hus band's thoughts about an attractive woman? Probably not? Plus, you're putting your spouse in an uncomfortable, no-win situation, said Kurt Smith, a therapist who specialises in counselling men. “Most men have already identified the pretty women in the room; if he's trying to respect you then he should be already trying not to look, so you pointing her out will only make him more self-conscious, uncomfortable and unsure of what to do to not upset you or hurt your feelings,“ he said.

4 “MAN UP“

Seriously? There's no right or wrong way to be a man. For your spouse's sake, let your gender expectations go and try having a civil conversation. “Telling your spouse to `man up' is a brutal attack on his core identity,“ says Smith. “It's a statement loaded with contempt and shame and could create relationship damage that will be difficult to heal,“ he says.

5 “WE NEED TO TALK“

No four words strike fear into a married man's heart quite like “we need to talk.“

Opt for something less ominous sounding the next time you bring up an issue, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a therapist. “The phrase `we need to talk' is often a signal that the wife has complaints or criticism about the husband,“ she said. “He assumes he somehow failed you and withdraws, creating a disconnect, which is the exact opposite of what you were trying to accomplish,“she adds.

6 “YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH THE GUYS AGAIN?“

Don't look at cricket meetups and golf trips as threats to your marriage. It's quite the opposite, actually; some time apart will likely do your rela tionship good, Howes said.“Yes, sometimes a guy's night is just an excuse to drink and fart but for many guys these are crucial times to connect, seek advice, get support and express some important emotions,“ he said. “Wives who feel threatened by this or forbid their husband from attending may be cutting off a vital support system.“

“There's a good chance he'll actually be a better husband if he can compare notes with other husbands and dads,“he says.

UNUSUAL SIGNS OF A HEART ATTACK


These are not the general cardiovascular ailment symptoms that you had been warned about...
One would not be entirely wrong to assume that severe bout of perspiration a is only due to Mumbai's humid monsoon. However, what most do not know is that perspiration could also have a cardiac origin and one has probably suffered a mild attack without realising it.

Cardiologists say that atypical symptoms of heart ailment need to be investigated thoroughly, as missing them could lead to serious consequences. Early diagnosis and prompt treatment can save a lot of lives.

Dr Santosh Kumar Dora, cardiac electro physiologist says, “Most people think of heart attacks as sudden, dramatic events with the alarming chest pain. But that's not always true.“ Dr Nilesh Gautam, senior interventional cardiologist explains, “Often, there are unusual symptoms that can sound the alert if you know what to watch for. The trouble is, these danger signs are not necessarily the symptoms you have been warned about.“ Usually people think that an obvious chest pain and sudden shortness of breath without exertion, are the only symptoms of heart attack, however, there are more. Experts list out a few unusual symptoms that we need to watch out for...

SEVERE PERSPIRATION

When you suddenly begin to sweat profusely without any reason, it could be of cardiac origin say experts.Patients developing heart attack can have this symptom due to severe reduc tion of cardiac output and sympathetic over-activity. This also can happen in case of diabetes mellitus when there is low blood glucose level or excess of thyroid level in the blood. Sometimes it happens if there is a sudden fall in BP and heart rate in a condition known as vasovagal syndrome.

INDIGESTION AND VOMITING

Sudden vomiting can be a sign of heart attack, heart attack, although it is unusual.If this happens without any obvious history of food poisoning, then cardiac problem should be suspected and an ECG should be done, advise doctors.

LOSS OF APPETITE

A loss of appetite could be due to various reasons. Experts say that sometimes patients with heart failure do suffer from loss of appetite. If this symptom is present in a person with an underlying heart problem, then, worsening of heart failure may be suspected.

JAW PAIN

Classically, angina pain starts behind the breastbone. This is the pain and discomfort caused when your heart muscle doesn't get enough oxygenated blood. One feels a pressure in the chest and something akin to burning, squeezing and tightness in that area. Discomfort can also occur in one's arms, neck, shoulders, upper abdomen, back or jaw. This exertional jaw pain can be a car diac symptom and is similar to an anginal episode. Doctors say that one should not ignore a toothache or pain behind the ears.

SUDDEN AND BRIEF LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS

A syncope could be due to a cardiac problem, say experts. It is charac terised by a sudden and temporary faint ing spell or loss of con sciousness with sponta neous recovery . This hap pens when there is insuffi cient blood flow to the brain due to decreased cardiac output and low blood pressure. Patients suddenly having a very high or very low heart rate can develop this. This also can happen in conditions like severe valve narrowing. These patients need urgent cardiac attention and correction, as this can be life threatening.

SEXUAL PERFORMANCE

One of the signs of heart disease could also be trouble in maintaining an erection. This happens when blood circulation in the body is poor. It could be due to clogged arteries. Plaque build up in the arteries do not allow blood to flow properly causing erectile dysfunction.

SLEEP IRREGULARITIES AND HEART ATTACKS

Dr S Ramnathan Iyer, consultant physician and consultant sleep medicine says that patients of obstructive sleep apnoea (OSA) are prone to develop high blood pressure and heart attacks. He says that it is advisable to evaluate patients of high blood pressure, angina, heart attack, heart failure for sleep-related issues.

History of Chambhar caste or jati

History of Chambhar caste or jati

A relaxed mind learns new languages faster



Brains in a state of relaxation are better at learning new languages faster, according to a recent study . Scientists at the University of Washington demonstrated that a fiveminute measurement of resting-state brain activity predicted how quickly adults picked up a second language.

“This is vital brain function research that could enable the military to develop a more effective selection process of those who can learn languages quickly,“ said Researcher Dr Ray Perez. He added, “This is especially critical to the intelligence community , which needs linguists fluent in a variety of languages, and must find such individuals rapidly.“ For the experiment, 19 participants in the age group of 18 and 31, with no previous experience of learning French, took 30 minutes French lessons for eight weeks through an immersive, virtual-reality computer program called Operational Language and Cultural Training System (OLCTS).

The program is designed to make military personnel pro ficient in a foreign language after 20 hours of training. The self-paced program guides users through a series of scenes and stories. A voice recognition component enables users to check their pronunciation. To ensure the participants were progress ing well, the researchers used periodic quizzes with minimum scores to move on with the next lesson.For five minutes before and after the eightweek curriculum, the study's author, Dr Chantel Prat, had participants sit still, close their eyes, breathe deeply and wear an EEG (electroencephalogram) headset measuring resting-state brain activity.

“We found that the larger the networks were in `beta' frequencies [brain frequencies associated with language and memory], the faster our participants learned French,“ says Prat.

5 TIPS ON HOW TO BEGIN EXERCISING



When you are young, you can get by solely on pizza and fun, but as you cross over to the wiser side of 30, it's time to begin considering good health more seriously . It isn't easy to start or maintain a good exercising regime --say one hour a day , four or five times a week.Mercifully , there are a few things that can help...

1 TAKE IT SLOW

Start with five minutes, or just start with wearing your shoes. Don't set unrealistic targets for yourself as there are chances that you may fail. Just say to yourself that whenever you step out for your workout regime in a week, you will do it for at least five minutes. And don't let anyone mock you or deter you -if they do, ask them to mind their own business. Consistency is the key and if you are regular, you become more focused and your stamina, too, increases.

2 COMPETE WITH YOURSELF

Do not get an exercising buddy . Other people are very irritating, they are always better at these things. They don't mind sweating, they don't mind the heat, soon they begin to enjoy exercising -in a month you'll be questioning your choice in friends and within six your trust in humanity would be crushed. Nope. Go solo. Track your walks: the only record you need to break is your own.

3 KEEP TRACK

Whether you make notes of your fitness sessions, or use an app to track it, keep a note of your it. Take a week at a time. Say this week you went once for five minutes, which is already too hateful, next week your goal is very simple: to repeat this effort. Don't put any pressure on yourself to do anymore till one day you might want to do six minutes and another 10. Another week you might want to go twice.

4 DON'T GET BLINDED BY CONVENTIONAL THINKING

So you went right back to the couch, of course, after doing say six weeks of five-minute walk one day a week. You could not up your exercise by even a minute more, naturally . You stopped exercising and now it's been three weeks since you last wore your sneakers. I've done all of this, many times over, in the last decade so I am not moved.Just try again. Repeat from the beginning and get going because not doing something for a few weeks does not mean you've stopped doing it, or given it up, it simply means that you didn't do it for a few weeks.

5 DON'T EXPECT TO LOVE IT

No, it never gets better. Exercising is hard work; there's no point pretending that you are going to start loving it eventually . Do it like you eat your daily vitamins (or will, with age). Those people who say “running is my life, it is a part of me“ are those irritating people mentioned above whom one must avoid at all cost (mute them) -however, what exercising will do is result in tangible benefits. You feel more energetic, you lose weight, your clothes fit better as your muscles get toned, and the sense of achievement after a workout completed successfully (even for five minutes) is immense -it is a great high. It will be worth it.

BIRCH WATER TO BLACK RICE: THE NEW SUPERFOODS


Tuck into these to power up your health
We are what we eat. No amount of gymming and yoga can cut the kilos or put that glow back, unless you eat right, too. If you have maxed out on green tea, kale and chia seeds, which were last year's superfoods, fret no further. A new list of foods is staking claim to the throne, with their own taste and immense benefits. Get a load of the new mega-healthy lineup...

DRUMSTICKS

Have you always looked down with disdain on the drumsticks in your soup or sambar? It's time to change that outlook. The humble green vegetable called drumsticks -known back home as muringakkai -is finding huge favour in the West. It has joined the rank of the big superfoods and is now being hailed as the new kale.BENEFITS: The flesh and seeds of drumsticks are high in protein and omega3 fatty acids. The leaves are also a rich source of iron, protein, calcium and vitamins A, B and C. It has anti-inflammatory and anti-diabetic properties.

KOHLRABI

You may have seen this uneven-looking veggie at the market and just walked away from it. Don't do that anymore. Studies also hail kohlrabi as the new kale. It can be had as a slaw, adds crunchiness to a stir fry, is used in soups or even roasted for its slightly sweet flavour.BENEFITS: The tuberous vegetable is a huge source of vitamin C -just 130 gms has close to 80 mg! It is also highly valued for its potassium levels and can regulate fluid levels in the body.

KOMBUCHA

Matcha tea is so 2015! Meet the new hipster drink -kombucha tea.Health lovers are chugging down the fermented tea that's said to reboot the immune system. Kombucha tea bars are also springing up around the world. Madonna, Halle Berry and Gwyneth Paltrow have all been spot ted sipping on it.

BENEFITS: To put it simply, the golden tea (it has a certain percent age of alcohol), is packed with antioxi dants, which can fight bad bacteria in the system and aid digestion.

A few studies also credit kombucha with lowering high blood pressure and curing kidney stones.

DONKEY'S MILK

Okay, don't make faces, already . A study by the UN'S Food and Agriculture Organisation has said that donkey's milk has “particular nutritional benefits“ with a protein profile that make it suit able for those allergic to cow's milk.

Once known as Cleopatra's bathing secret, of late, donkey milk soap, chocolate and cosmetics are becoming the new grab.

BENEFITS: Hailed as a supple ment for sportsmen, it's said to be vitamin-rich (it report edly has four times the amount of vitamin C than cow's milk). A report also mentions that those with eczema and other skin con ditions have reported posi tive results on drinking it.

BIRCH WATER

Thirsty? Health-conscious folks can now give smoothies or the neighbourhood nariyal pani wala a miss for a change and try birch water, available in a few health stores. This is the sap that comes out from birch trees and owing to its numerous health claims, it's also being used in skincare regimens.BENEFITS: Just like coconut water, birch water is packed with electrolytes like magnesium, calcium and potassium and is an apt a thirst-quencher. It also has antioxidant properties and can boost immunity .

BLACK RICE

Out goes red rice and brown rice. Now try black rice, also called `forbidden rice'.Once a native to China as well as Southeast Asia, this is a prized food ingredient as it has a staggering amount of antioxidants. It has a nutty flavour.BENEFITS: Its hull is said to have a huge amount of vitamin E that protects cells from damage. As per a study , it also has more anthocyanin antioxidants than blueberries. Black rice protects heart health, slows down sugar absorption in the blood and helps with weight loss.

TEFF

Meet the tiniest grain in the world -the Ethiopoian Teff. But don't go by it's size; it packs a punch, alright. Teff may not be new, but the world has been waking up to teff of late. With its grainy-texture, it can be used like a wheat-substitute in breads, pastas or even for rice.BENEFITS: Teff is gluten-free and is said to have more iron and zinc than wheat. It has a combination of almost eight essential amino acids, as well as fibre, and helps with managing blood sugar levels.

MACA ROOT

Known as the Peruvian equivalent to `ginseng', maca root comes from the radish family and is being called 2016's big superfood find. Available in the form of a powder, this contains close to 60 phytochemicals! Maca root can be added to soups, smoothies or salads.Supermodel Miranda Kerr is said to add it to her morning shake.BENEFITS: The ingredient is energising and has vitamins B, C and E. It is also said to be libido-boosting and can increase energy levels. It's of particular importance to women as it helps decrease menopause symptoms.

AMARANTH

Health buffs are getting excited over this ancient grain, and with good reason.Actually tiny seeds, amaranth -once eaten by the Aztecs -packs such a nutritional punch that it's coming into breads, salads, cakes and its flour is used to thicken soups.BENEFITS: The seeds are a powerhouse of fibre, vitamins and minerals like magnesium and are said to tackle cholesterol. It is also gluten-free.

BANANA FLOUR

You may have been baking with coconut flour, but there's a successor to it. This time around, try banana flour, an effective substitute. The flour has a pleasant, nutty flavour and is glutenfree. It can be easily added to smoothies, cakes and other baked desserts.BENEFITS: The flour is high in potassium as well as natural vitamins. It also has RS2, a resistant starch that has health benefits.

KEFIR

Say goodbye to fermented foods like kimchi. You now have kefir -another fermented food -that is rich in probiotics, an ingredient which aids healthy functioning of the gut. Coming from the Turkish word keif meaning good feeling, kefir is a cross between milk and yoghurt and can be added to lassis, smoothies and ice cream.BENEFITS: It builds bone density, boosts immunity , helps with inflammatory bowel disease and aids detox.

BENTONITE CLAY

After finding use in spa skin treatments, bentonite clay is also now being thought of as a cleanser for the body. Buzz is, one may add this to a glass of water to reduce symptoms of bloating and constipation. But it is advised to check with a doctor before doing so.BENEFITS: The clay has an abundance of minerals. It is said to be able to cleanse the body of toxic metals and been found in natural toothpastes. It also boosts the immune system and promotes `good bacteria' in the system.

LET'S DATE THE MODERN WAY!


Lingo to help you decode today's dating terminology
Relationships and dating culture have evolved over the years. Thanks to technology , not just ways to love but terms used to express love have also advanced. From Baby to Bae, the language of dating has been in a constant flux.Here's the lingo to decode today's dating practices.

BAE

First it was `Baby'.Then it was `Boo' and now it's `Bae'.BAE is nothing but a slang for `Before Anyone Else' and is used for the partner who you are head over heels in love with.

SLAYING

A person who often slays in a relationship isn't really the one to fall in love.Such people have one end goal, and that's scoring. Oh, and they want that roll in the hay with no strings attached.

BENCHING

Has someone called you for three days in a row, and then vanished? Well, then he was `Benching'.When a person is inconsistent in expressing his love, he is said to be `Benching' you. It simply means that he likes you, but hasn't made up his mind about what he wants, and doesn't know how to tell you this.

CUFFING SEASON

Cuffing season is most popular during winter.It's the period when temperature drops and the desire to be paired up or `cuffed' up is high.

GHOSTING

Dating apps and socialmedia stalking may help you get things going initially but guess what, breaking up is still hard to do. That's when some people opt for Ghosting. Also called as Swayzeing, it gets its name from the classic 1990 movie Ghost, starring Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore. It refers to those guys or girls who go incommunicado after a few dates to avoid that person and find an easy way out of the relationship.

DTR

In today's dating world, a couple's relationship status can be murky. There comes a point when status can be murky. There comes a point when one needs to sit down with their partner and understand which direction their relationship is heading towards. In other words they need to DTR -Define The Relationship.

TEXTTATIONSHIP

It's a term used for couples who have an entire relationship without ever meeting. Yeah, it's all about texts. Such relationships don't usually make it to dates. Instead, you'll have long conversations, flirt sessions and maybe even texts that will steam up the screen.

SWERVING

Swerving implies dodging someone you're not interested in. Now, we've all done it at some point, and honestly, sometimes it is the only way out, though it's best to avoid this whenever possible.

Sakharpuda

 Sakharpuda Ukhana

खूप दिवसांपासून ऑनलाइन नाही आहात ?

मग ऐका हा उखाणा...खास तुमच्यासाठी

गणपतीच्या देवळात अगरबत्तीचा पुडा

गणपतीच्या देवळात अगरबत्तीचा पुडा

मेसेज नाही , ऑनलाइन नाही

ठरलाय का साखरपुडा ?

आगरी-कोळ्यांच्या हळदी, लग्न, वरातीबरोबरच साखरपुड्यालाही हजारएक पाहुणे जाऊन त्यांच्यावर भरमसाठ खर्च करण्याचा नवाच प्रकार सुरू झाला आहे. त्याविरुद्ध जागरूक समाजबांधवांनी धोक्‍याची घंटा वाजविली आहे. नवी मुंबईतील "फोर्टी प्लस मास्टर क्‍लब‘ या क्रीडा संघटनेचे सदस्य साखरपुड्यातली उधळपट्टी थांबविण्यासाठी मैदानात उतरले आहेत.

मराठा असो की माळी, आगरी असो की कोळी... राष्ट्रसंत गाडगेबाबांनी दाखविलेला कल्याणमार्ग सोडून महाराष्ट्रातील अनेक समाजांमध्ये लग्नसमारंभातील उधळपट्टीचे लोण चिंता करावी इतपत वाढले आहे. भपकेबाजीच्या हव्यासाने रसातळाला जाणारा समाज पाहून काही वर्षांपूर्वी दिवंगत लोकनेते दि. बा. पाटील यांनी सावधगिरीची हाक दिली होती. आगरी-कोळ्यांच्या हळदी समारंभावर होणारा भरमसाठ खर्च आणि ओल्या पार्ट्या पाहून हळदी समारंभ बंद करण्याचे आवाहन त्यांनी केले होते. त्याला समाजाचा चांगला प्रतिसादही मिळाला; पण काळाच्या ओघात विवेकाचा हा धागा क्षीण झाला आहे.

"फोर्टी प्लस‘ ही चाळिशी ओलांडलेल्या तरुणांची क्रिकेट संघटना आहे. संघटनेच्या नुकत्याच झालेल्या बैठकीत साखरपुड्यावर होणारा अवास्तव खर्च रोखण्यासाठी पुढाकार घेण्याचा निर्णय घेण्यात आला. क्‍लबचे सदस्य प्रबोधनाची मोहीम हाती घेणार आहेत. माजी नगरसेवक जी. एस. पाटील, बाळाराम पाटील, नगरसेवक चंद्रकांत पाटील, पत्रकार राजेंद्र घरत, संजय सुर्वे, लेखक पर्यावरण मित्र गजानन म्हात्रे यांसह फोर्टी प्लसचे सभासद बैठकीला मोठ्या संख्येने उपस्थित होते. साखरपुड्यासाठी पूर्वी केवळ 10 ते 15 लोक जात असत. आता हजार लोक येतात. हे थांबविण्याची गरज आहे, असे जी. एस. पाटील म्हणाले. पैशांचा अपव्यय थांबवून तो मुलांच्या शिक्षणावर खर्च करावा, असे आवाहन घरत यांनी केले. सर्व सदस्यांनी आपल्या मुलांचा साखरपुडा साधेपणाने करण्याचा निर्णय घेतला.

खर्च करण्याची स्पर्धा
-आगरी, कोळ्यांची लग्ने म्हणजे मोठा उत्सव. कोण किती खर्च करतो याची एक स्पर्धाच. पूर्वी हळदीला खर्च करण्याचा कल असायचा. आता लग्नाआधी साखरपुड्यात खर्च करण्याची स्पर्धा लागली आहे.

-पूर्वी ओल्या पार्ट्या हळदीलाच झडत. आता साखरपुड्यातही त्या होऊ लागल्या आहेत. पूर्वी साखरपुड्याला केवळ घरातली मंडळील मोजके नातेवाईक जात. साधे मटण-भाकरीचे जेवण असे. जास्तीत जास्त तीनशे लोक येत.

-सध्या साखरपुड्याला सातशे ते हजार लोक येऊ लागले आहेत. हा खर्च मुलीकडच्यांना करावा लागतो. मटण-भाकरीबरोबर चायनीज मेनू वाढू लागले आहेत.

-पूर्वी 60 ते 70 हजारांत होणारा साखरपुडा दोन ते तीन लाखांत पडू लागला आहे. श्रीमंतांना हे सोसवत असले तरी गरीब, मध्यमवर्गीयांना भुर्दंड पडू लागला आहे.

-पूर्वीपासून मुलीकडून हुंडा न घेणारा समाज, अशी आगरी-कोळ्यांची ओळख. त्यामुळे आधुनिक काळात सधनता वाढत असताना अनाठायी, वाईट रूढी कशाला तयार करायच्या, असा प्रश्‍न सुजाण समाजबांधव विचारीत आहेत.

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ग्न...दोन तनांच्या-दोन मनांच्या मीलनाचा आनंददायी सोहळा...हुरहुरीचा, चुटपुटीचा, उत्साहाचा, धावपळीचा, गडबड-घाईचा आणि वेगवेगळ्या गमतीजमती घडण्याचाही हा दिवस...उत्सवमूर्तींच्या मनात अशा कितीतरी आठवणी रुंजी घालत असतात...महिने उलटतात, वर्षं सरतात...पण या आठवणींचा रंग, गंध जसाच्या तसा राहतो...अशाच रंगीत, गंधित आठवणी पाठवण्याचं आवाहन वाचकांना केलं आणि नेहमीप्रमाणंच भरपूर प्रतिसाद मिळाला..."लग्नाच्या दिवसा'च्या अशाच आठवणींचा हा "बुके' दर आठवड्याला...
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नवरदेवानं केलं आधी चोरांना "चतुर्भुज'!
शीतल महाडिक, पुणे
माझं आणि परागचं लग्न 5 जुलै 2003 ला झालं. साखरपुडा आदल्या दिवशी होता. सर्व विधी झाल्यावर एकमेकांना अंगठी घालण्याचा कार्यक्रम होता. परागनं माझ्या बोटात अंगठी घातली. नंतर मी त्याच्या बोटात अंगठी घालायला गेले तर ती त्याच्या बोटात जाईनाच. मी गोंधळून गेले. काय करावं, ते कळेना. मी हात मागं घेतला. परागच्या बोटात मी अंगठी घातली, असं सगळ्यांना वाटलं. सर्वांनी टाळ्या वाजवल्या; पण अंगठी परागच्या बोटात गेली नसल्याचं मी हात वर करून, अंगठी दाखवत सगळ्यांना सांगितलं. सर्वजण मनसोक्त हसले. शेवटी, मोठ्या प्रयत्नानं तीच अंगठी मी परागच्या बोटात कशीबशी घातली. सर्वांनी पुन्हा एकदा टाळ्या वाजवल्या!

साखरपुडा संपल्यावर पराग घरी जायला निघाला; कारण त्याचं म्हणणं, त्याला कार्यालयात झोप आली नसती.

लग्नाचा दिवस उजाडला. हळदीची तयारी झाली. मी तयार होऊन बसले; पण परागचा अजून पत्ताच नव्हता. सगळेजण धास्तावले. फोनवर फोन सुरू झाले. नंतर कळलं ते असं ः साखरपुडा संपवून पराग घरी गेला असता त्यांच्या कॉलनीत चोर आलेले होते व त्यांना पकडून पोलिस ठाण्यात नेण्याचं काम पराग आणि त्याच्या काकांनी केलं होतं. या सगळ्या गडबडीत त्याला झोपायला उशीर झाला होता. अर्थात हळदीच्या कार्यक्रमाला उशीर झाला असला तरी तो यथासांग पार पडला.

लग्नाच्या वेळी आम्हा दोघांच्या मध्ये आंतरपाट एवढा खाली धरला गेला होता, की आम्ही दोघंही एकमेकांना सहज पाहू शकत होतो. माझे सासरे सारखे सांगत होते, "अरे आंतरपाट वरती धरा...' पण मंगलाष्टकांमुळं गुरुजींचं तिकडं लक्षच गेलं नाही. गुरुजी मंगलाष्टकंही गमतीशीर आवाजात म्हणत होते. ते ऐकूनही आम्हाला हसू फुटत होतं!
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तासा-दीड तासात आटोपलं लग्न
सुनीलकुमार सिंह जेऊर (सोलापूर)
मूळचा उत्तर प्रदेशातला; पण गेली 25 वर्षं नोकरीनिमित्त महाराष्ट्रातच आहे. उत्तर प्रदेशात लग्नाचा मुहूर्त रात्रीच्या वेळी असतो... लग्नसमारंभही प्रदीर्घ वेळ चालतो...कितीतरी दिवस चालतो! मात्र, मला हे सगळं टाळायचं होतं आणि मला लग्नासाठी रात्रीचीही वेळ नको होती...दिवसाच लग्न करायचं, असं मी ठरवलं होतं.

मुलगी पाहण्यासाठी आम्ही मध्य प्रदेशात गेलो. मुलीच्या घरी पोचलो. "मुलगी दाखवा' असं मी त्यांना पोचल्या-पोचल्याच सांगितलं. (कारण, घरगुती रूपात ती कशी दिसते, हे मला पाहायचं होतं. सासरीही ती घरगुती रूपातच वावरणार होती ना!). मुलगीही लगेचच आली. पंजाबी ड्रेस...आणि एका हाताला बेसन पीठ लागलेलं...(ती त्या वेळी ब्रेड रोल करत होती). मुलीला मी पसंत पडलो आणि तीही मला आवडली. लग्न ठरलं. लग्न अगदी साध्या पद्धतीनं करायचं आहे, असं मी मुलीकडच्यांना सांगितलं आणि तशी त्यांची संमती घेतली. दोन्हीकडचे मिळून 30-40 जणच लग्नाला उपस्थित होते आणि अगदी तासा-दीड तासांत आमचा लग्नसमारंभ पार पडला. परतीचा प्रवास सुरू झाला. मी आणि पत्नी ज्या गाडीत होतो, ती गाडी माझा धाकटा भाऊ चालवत होता. प्रवासाच्या सुरवातीलाच आमच्या गाडीला मांजर आडवं गेलं. त्यामुळं भावानं गाडी थांबवली. त्याला वाटलं, अपशकून झाला. "मांजर आडवं जाणं म्हणजे अपशकून, ही अंधश्रद्धा आहे. आज मी एका नव्या आयुष्याला सुरवात करत आहे. काही नुकसान व्हायचंच असेल तर ते माझं होईल, ' हे मी भावाला समजून सांगितलं. आमचा तो प्रवास सुखरूप झाला...आता माझ्या लग्नाला 15 वर्षं झाली आहेत. या प्रदीर्घ काळात छोट्या-मोठ्या गोष्टीमुळं कधीही नाराजी किंवा भांडण झालेलं नाही... सुंदर, समजूतदार, प्रेमळ बायको नि दोन गोंडस, समंजस मुलं यांच्या सहवासात मी आनंदात आहे!
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आधी "रावणवध'; मग "विद्यास्वयंवर'!
विद्या वाळिंबे, सोलापूर
आमच्या वैवाहिक आयुष्यानं नुकतंच (5 जून 1988) पंचविशीत पदार्पण केलं आहे. तो काळ दूरदर्शनवरच्या "रामायण' या मालिकेनं भारलेला-मंतरलेला होता. साहजिकच माझ्या लग्नसोहळ्यातही या मालिकेचे पडसाद उमटलेच. मोठी शहरं, छोटी शहरं, खेडी, गावं...अशा सर्वच ठिकाणं त्या काळी रविवारी "रामायणमय' होऊन जायची. माझं लग्न सोलापुरात होतं. दिवस रविवारचाच. मुहूर्त 10 वाजून 32 मिनिटांचा...रामायण मालिकाही याच वेळेच्या आसपास असायची. (आणि त्या दिवशी होता नेमका "रावणवधा'चा सीन!).

साहजिकच, लग्नमंडपातील बहुतेक मंडळी टीव्हीच्या शोधार्थ बाहेर पडली...कुणी स्वतःच्या घरी, कुणी ओळखीच्या घरी, कुणी हॉटेलात, कुणी दुकानांत, कुणी चहाच्या टपरीवर..एवढंच काय, "आलोच आत्ता' असं म्हणत गुरुजीही "रावणवध' पाहण्यासाठी मंडपातून बाहेर पडले. मालिकेचा तो अर्धा तास लग्नमंडपात आम्ही वधू-वर आणि काही मोजकेच नातेवाईक होतो! मुहूर्ताची वेळ जवळ येत चालली, तरी मंडपात अगदी तुरळकच माणसं...त्यामुळं मला, माझ्या आई-वडिलांना खूपच काळजी वाटू लागली. अखेर, "रावणवध' आटोपून गुरुजी धोतराचा सोगा आवरत मंडपात लगबगीनं दाखल झाले....अन्य मंडळीही मागोमाग आली...नि जेमतेम मुहूर्तावर हे "विद्यास्वयंवर' पार पडलं!
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मावशी, दादा-वहिनी तिथं स्टेजवर आहेत!
ज्योत्स्ना शिंपी, पुणे
माझ्या आणि दीपक ऊर्फ निरंजनच्या लग्नाचा सोळावा वाढदिवस (2 जून 1996) नुकताच झाला.
लग्नाच्या दिवशी झालेला गमतीशीर प्रसंग आजही आठवतो...लग्नानंतर आम्ही दोघं "रिसेप्शन'साठी स्टेजवर उभे राहिलो; तर माझा धाकटा दीर अपूर्व हॉलमध्ये फिरत होता. माझ्या सासूबाईंच्या काही मैत्रिणी आल्या. त्यांनी अपूर्वच्या हातात प्रेझेंट दिलं व "दीपक, लग्नाच्या हार्दिक शुभेच्छा; तुझी अर्धांगिनी कुठं आहे, ओळख तरी करून दे' असं अपूर्वलाच त्यांनी म्हटलं. तो गोंधळून गेला. म्हणाला, "मावशी, दादा-वहिनी तिथं स्टेजवर आहेत; मी अपूर्व आहे. दीपकचा भाऊ.' सासूबाईंच्या मैत्रिणी चांगल्याच ओशाळल्या. खरंतर दीपक आणि अपूर्व यांच्यात चांगलं नऊ वर्षांचं अंतर आहे. मला तर ते दोघं अजिबात एकसारखे वाटत नाहीत; पण बरेच परिचित म्हणतात, की दोघांत खूपच साम्य आहे. शिवाय, लग्नानिमित्त दोघांचेही सारखे सूट, दीपकसारख्याच अपूर्वच्याही मिश्‍या..त्यामुळे हा गोंधळ झाला असावा कदाचित!
आमच्या लग्नानंतर अपूर्वनं मिशी राखणं सोडूनच दिलं...म्हणाला, "पुन्हा गोंधळ व्हायला नको'!
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आजच्या मुलींचं नेमकं चाललंय काय? लग्न होणाऱ्या जोडीदाराबद्दलच्या अपेक्षा, घरकामांबद्दलची नावड असं काहीही असलं, तरी त्यावर मोकळेपणानं बोलायला हवं.
आजची तरुणी उच्चशिक्षित, कमावती, महत्त्वाकांक्षी अन्‌ स्मार्ट आहे. पण लग्नाच्या मुद्‌द्‌यावर काहीतरी बिनसतंय. यावरून नेत्राची गोष्ट ऐकण्यासारखी आहे.

नेत्रा एमबीए असून चांगल्या आयटी कंपनीत चांगल्या पगारावर नोकरी करते. 29 वर्षांच्या नेत्राचं व तिच्या आई-वडिलांचं तिच्यासाठी वरसंशोधन सुरू आहे चार वर्षांपासून. दोन वर्षांपूर्वी तिचा एकदा साखरपुडा झाला, त्यानंतर विवाह तिनेच मोडला. आई-वडिलांनी तिच्या कलाने घेतले. "जबरदस्ती नको, होऊ दे तिच्या मनानं‘ म्हणून जड अंतःकरणानं लग्न मोडलं.

आता तीन महिन्यांपूर्वी एका उपवर मुलाशी लग्न जुळलंय. त्या निर्णयापर्यंत यायला ती त्याला तीन महिन्यांत अनेक वेळा भेटली. घरचेही भेटले. लग्न ठरल्याचं व साखरपुड्याची तारीख दोन्ही कुटुंबांनी मिळून ठरवली आणि पुन्हा नेत्राचं येरे माझ्या मागल्या. या मुलात पण बरेच दोष काढून लग्न मोडायचं म्हणून हटून बसली आहे. त्यानंतर आई-वडील समुपदेशनाला घेऊन आले.

अनामिकाची गोष्ट त्याहून वेगळी. तिचं वैभवशी, बघून- पसंत करून व्यवस्थित लग्न झालं. दोन्हीकडचे सर्व खूष. कारण हे दोघेही उच्चशिक्षित. आयटीत नोकरीला, दिसायला अनुरूप. पण अनामिका आपल्या लग्नापूर्वीच्या बॉय फ्रेंडला लग्नानंतर काही दिवसांतच नियमित भेटू लागली. गोष्टी बऱ्याच थरापर्यंत गेल्यावर, तिच्या नवऱ्याला, वैभवला कळलं. मग त्यांनी त्या दोघांना पकडलं. हे सर्व लग्नाला महिना व्हायच्या आत झालं. त्यानंतर हताश झालेला वैभव समुपदेशनाला आला.

हे काय चाललंय आजच्या मुलींचं? इतका गोंधळ का बरं चालला आहे? आई-वडील संस्कार करतात, पण पुढचा स्वतःचा विकास स्वतःला करावा लागतो, त्यावरून त्यांना कुठे थांबावं हे कळत नाही का? समजा लग्न होणाऱ्या जोडीदाराबद्दलच्या अपेक्षा, घरकामांबद्दलची नावड असं काहीही असलं, तरी त्यावर मोकळेपणानं बोलायला हवं. साधारणपणे आजचे पालक सर्व समजून घेतात, मार्ग सुचवतात, उपायांवर चर्चा करतात. समुदपेशकाकडेही नेतात. पण मुळात आपल्याला आपला प्रश्‍न काय आहे ते कळतं का? मुली स्वतः स्वतःचं आयुष्य का कठीण करतात? मी नोकरी करते, पैसे कमावते म्हणून मला सर्व समजले, असे वाटणाऱ्या मुली घरात आई-वडील आजारी पडल्यास बऱ्याचदा व्यवस्थित स्वयंपाक करून त्यांना जेवू घालू शकत नाहीत. नेत्राच्या बाबतीतही तिचे वडील तिला म्हणाले, ""तुला हे लग्न करायचं नाही, तर मी ते स्वीकारतो; पण या पुढं तू वेगळं घर घेऊन रहा. त्यानंतर लग्न कर वा नको करू, तुझं आयुष्य तूच बघ. कारण आम्हाला आता मानसिक त्रास सहन होत नाही...‘‘ पण नेत्रात स्वतंत्र राहण्याचा आत्मविश्‍वास वा धमक मुळीच दिसली नाही. म्हणजे पैसे मिळवण्यापलीकडे माझ्यातले गुण-अवगुण मला माहीत नाहीत आणि मी दुसऱ्याचे गुण-अवगुण बघून त्याला पास-नापास करतेय.
त्यामुळे स्वतःला लग्नासाठी तयार करण्याकरिता स्वतःचे गुण-दोष, मी कोण आहे, माझ्या आवडी-निवडी, मी कुठल्या मुद्‌द्‌यांवर जुळवून घेऊ शकते, कौटुंबिक पार्श्‍वभूमी आदी विविध मुद्दे मला माहीत करून घ्यायला हवेत, त्यानंतरच आपण लग्नाला तयार करू शकतो आणि जोडीदाराच्या अपेक्षांबद्दल विचार करू शकतो.
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लग्नाच्या दागिन्यांच्या आठवणी. प्रत्येकाच्या मनातला हळुवार कोपरा. तनिष्काच्या वाचकांनी शेअर केला आहे खास आपल्या सर्वांसाठी...

माझ्या लग्नातला दागिना

कंबरपट्ट्याची हौस
आत्याकडे एक कंबरपट्टा होता. आजीने पिढीजात कंबरपट्टा आत्त्याला दिलेला. त्यावरून आई नाराज होती. तिने हट्टाने माझ्या लग्नात माझ्यासाठी छानसा कंबरपट्टा केला आणि स्व:ताच्या मनाचं समाधान करून घेतलं.
-रमा पांडे, औरंगाबाद

माझी गुपचूप हौस
आमचं लव्ह मॅरेज. माहेरून मला काही दागिने घालणं शक्‍य नव्हतं. सासरचीही तशीच स्थिती. मी पगारातले पैसे साठवून तोडे घेतले. लग्नात नवऱ्याने मला दिले. घरात आधी सांगितलं असतं तर ते पैसे लग्नखर्चासाठी द्यावे लागले असते.
-वैशाली कापसे, नाशिक

पिढीजात दागिना
माझ्या सासूबाईंनी मला लग्नात एक मोहनमाळ दिली. सासूबाईंना त्यांच्या लग्नात ती त्यांच्या सासूकडून मिळाली होती. प्रत्येक पिढीत आम्ही त्याचा एक पदर वाढवतो. घरचा दागिना म्हणून खूप कौतुक वाटतं..
सुधा कुलकर्णी, सोलापूर

आवड जाणली
सासूबाईंकडे एक वाकी होती. मी लग्नाआधी सणाला किंवा कार्यक्रमाच्या निमित्ताने सासरी जायचे, तेव्हा सासूबाईंच्या दंडात ती वाकी दिसायची. मला आवडली होती. लग्नात सासूबाईंनी लक्षात ठेवून सासरचा दागिना म्हणून ती वाकी मला दिली.
अनिता पाटील, नगर

आजीचा ठेवा
माझी आजी प्रेमळ पण करारी. माझ्या लग्नाआधी आजीने तिचे दागिने दिले आणि नवीन फॅशनप्रमाणे माझ्यासाठी करायला सांगितले. एक तर आजीने स्वत:चे दागिने देणं याचं आश्‍चर्य होतं आणि त्यात तिने नव्या फॅशनचे करायला सांगावेत हे आणखीनच आश्‍चर्य!
वसुंधरा काशीकर, पुणे

मामीची भेट
माझ्या माहेरची आर्थिक परिस्थिती फारशी चांगली नव्हती. त्यामुळे लग्नात आई-बाबा मला दागिने घालू शकणार नव्हते. माझी मामी अमेरिकेहून आली. येताना ती माझ्यासाठी गळ्यातले-कानातले असा सेट घेऊन आली होती. मामीने अचानक दिलेली ती भेट खूपच आनंददायी ठरली.
- ज्योत्स्ना राजे, औरंगाबाद

अंगठीची मजा
माझा साखरपुडा होता. त्यासाठी आम्ही दोघांनी एकसारखी अंगठी करायला दिली होती-तीही माझ्या माहेरच्या गावी. माझा नवरा अंगठी घेऊन त्याच्या गावी जाताना त्याच्याकडून अंगठी हरवली. घरी सांगितलं तर गोंधळ होणार. त्याने ती गोष्ट फक्त मला सांगितली. तो परत गावी आला. नवी अंगठी तयार करायला दिली. या गोंधळात साखरपुड्याच्या दिवशी अंगठी मिळालीच नाही. पुढे लग्नात नवऱ्याकडून मला ती अंगठी मिळाली.
राजश्री चव्हाण, कोल्हापूर 

किताब में लिंग जांच का सुझाव देने वाले आयुर्वेद गुरु बालाजी तांबे पर केस दर्ज

 16 jun 2016
The state government has filed a case against ayurveda expert Balaji Tambe in the judicial magistrate's court at Sangamner in Ahmednagar district for violation of the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques ( PCPNDT ) Act.

A committee that went into allegations of sex-specific Conception techniques prescribed by Tambe in his book 'Ayurvedic Garbha Sanskar' found that prima facie there was enough material to proceed in the case.

Dr Rajeev Ghodke, medical superintendent of Sangamner rural hospital, filed the case against Tambe on behalf of the state government.

Tambe remained unavailable for comment despite several attempts to contact him.

The original complaint against Tambe was made with the rural surgeon at Sangamner by Ganesh Borhade, a resident of Sangamner, in November last year.

"The government agency has woken up and filed a case against Tambe only after I filed a complaint against the local civil surgeon in the court and made him the first accused (for not acting in accordance with law)," Borhade said. "I filed the case against the civil surgeon for non-action in May."

Borhade had complained against Tambe in November last year for advice on sex selection in his book, which was said to be in violation of the PCPNDT Act.

"The complaint was registered with the rural surgeon and was forwarded to the district civil surgeon," Borhade said. "He then set up a committee to study the facts and the significance of the complaint. But there was no follow up or progress from the other side, the committee report got delayed."

Borhade said he waited for five months for the report to come in.

"Then I decided to file the complaint against the civil surgeon before the judicial magistrate, where I made him the first accused," Borhade said. "It led to the government agency waking up and getting moving. Finally, the government agency filed the case against Tambe on June 13."

Archana Patil of the state directorate of health services said that action would be taken against Balaji Tambe for printing and publishing material that seemed to be in violation of the PCPNDT rules.

"What was mentioned in the Ayurveda book, it seems our technical committee has said that it violates the PCPNDT rules, hence the civil surgeon has taken appropriate action against Tambe," Patil said.

The report said there was sufficient proof that the book prima facie violated the PCPNDT rules and a case should be filed against Tambe.

Any person who contrivances the provision PCPNDT act shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which may extend three years and the fine which may extend to Rs 10,000.


The Maharashtra government has filed a case against noted Pune-based Ayurvedic practitioner and author Dr. Balaji Tambe for violating the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC-PNDT) Act after he allegedly prescribed the chanting of certain mantras to beget a male child in a popular book authored by him.

The case was lodged at a Judicial First Class Magistrate court in Sangamner in Ahmednagar district, after Dr. Tambe failed to reply to a show cause notice issued against him on this matter earlier in January this year.

Dr. Tambe, known for his Ayurvedic ‘panchkarma’ treatment, has authored the popular book ‘Ayurvediya Garbha Sanskar’ which has become a source of controversy following the notice.

The notice was issued to Dr. Tambe and his publisher and a book seller at Sangamner following a complaint by activist Ganesh Borhade under section 20(1) of the PC-PNDT Act.

Mr. Borhade had claimed that Dr. Tambe’s book contains chapters which expressly stipulate that certain ‘vedic mantras’ needed to be heard and chanted by the pregnant woman during delivery.

“In Tambe’s book, if the first child is a girl and the parents want the second one to be a male, then certain rituals must be followed. I thought this was shocking and hence I formally lodged a complaint in November last year,” Mr. Borhade said. Dr. Tambe could face up to three years of imprisonment in the event of the charges being proved.

He allegedly prescribed in his book the chanting of certain mantras to beget a male child

The Maharashtra government has filed a case against Pune-based Ayurvedic practitioner and author Dr. Balaji Tambe for violating the Pre-conception and Pre-natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC-PNDT) Act after he allegedly prescribed the chanting of Vedic mantras to beget a male child in a book authored by him.

The case was lodged at a Judicial First Class Magistrate court in Sangamner in Ahmednagar district, after Dr. Tambe failed to reply to a show-cause notice issued against him in January this year.

Dr. Tambe, known for his Ayurvedic ‘panchkarma’ treatment, has authored the book Ayurvediya Garbha Sanskar , which has become a source of controversy following the notice.

The notice was issued to Dr. Tambe and his publisher and book-seller at Sangamner, following a complaint by activist Ganesh Borhade under section 20(1) of the PC-PNDT Act. Mr. Borhade had claimed that Dr. Tambe’s book contains chapters which stipulate that certain ‘Vedic mantras’ need to be heard and chanted by the woman during delivery.

“In Tambe’s book, if the first child is a girl and the parents want the second one to be a male, then various rituals must be followed. I thought this shocking and hence, I lodged a complaint in November last year,” Mr. Borhade said. Following the complaint, the matter was taken up before the PC-PNDT advisory committee in December last year and a show-cause notice was accordingly dealt to Dr. Tambe.

Dr. Tambe could face up to three years in jail if the charges are proved. A prominent personality, Dr. Tambe is director on the board of the Sakal Media Group, which publishes the Marathi daily Sakal .

Dr. Tambe allegedly advocated chanting of mantras to beget a male child in a book authored by him


किताब में लिंग जांच का सुझाव देने वाले आयुर्वेद गुरु बालाजी तांबे पर केस दर्ज

बालाजी तांबे पर 'प्रि-कन्सेप्शन और प्रि नटल डायग्नॉस्टिक टेकनीक्स (PCPNDT) एक्ट' का उल्लंघन करने को लेकर यह मामला दर्ज किया गया है. तांबे पर आरोप है कि उन्होंने अपनी किताब आयुर्वेदिक गर्भ संस्कार में लिंग परीक्षण की तकनीक बताई है.

टाइम्स ऑफ इंडिया की खबर के मुताबिक इसकी जांच के लिए एक कमेटी बनी जिसने प्रथम दृष्टया यह माना कि किताब में ऐसी कई बातें हैं जिसके आधार पर केस को आगे बढ़ाया जा सकता है. संगमनेर अस्पताल के मेडिकल सुप्रीटेंडेंट डॉक्टर राजीव घोडके ने राज्य सरकार की तरफ से तांबे के खिलाफ केस दर्ज करवाया है. इस मामले पर तांबे की ओर से अभी तक कोई बयान नहीं आया है.