We live in more tolerant times where a lot of people are choosing to make peace with their past. That’s mostly because the world is shrinking and social media’s unprecedented outpour of information really never lets you forget things. So, in order to keep your mind more sane and calm, it’s wise to make peace with your past and by past, we mean your ‘ex’.
Most of you would want to loosen up the knotted ties between you and your ex and the reasons could be many. You could either want to shed away all the malice you hold for one another or you still want them in your life because inherently they are good people, or you still may have feelings for them, in which case, it’s better to let go than figure out ways of having them around. If the first two reasons are on your mind then here are five ways to consider if you’re looking at refreshing ties with an ex:
1 ARE THEY IN THE SAME PLACE AS YOU?
Yes, this is an obvious point to ponder over, but we seldom think what the other person wants in order to satiate what we want. So, the first step is to ensure your ex wants to be friends, too. Because if they don’t, then you really can’t force free will can you? You can just wish them luck and hope they’re happy.
2 CAN YOU TRUST THEM AGAIN?
If you guys ended on bad terms then you have to think about how you want to go about this. If she did something to break your trust, can you accommodate trust in your equation, again? Of course, it wouldn’t be in the same capacity as before, because you’re not trying to get back together, you’re trying to be in a good space as friends. So, if you trust your ex enough to not engage in any negativity or turn around and start a fight, then you should go ahead with it.
3 DO EITHER OF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER?
This one’s a tricky one only because you may think you’re over your ex, but you’re really not and that can be a bit blurry while you’re making a decision to keep in touch with them. Maybe sit down and think about your feelings. If you think they haven’t changed since you started seeing them then maybe give it some time.
4 DO YOU HOLD A GRUDGE?
You can hold a grudge against your ex for a number of things, that is why she’s your ex, to begin with! But if the grudge is minor and not too vicious then perhaps you can work on letting it go, if you think friendship with her is absolutely worth it. If it’s a major grudge and cannot be reversed, then there isn’t a point in looking out for any association, because you’ll never be able to let the grudge really go.
5 HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH TIME APART?
It’s practically impossible to extend an arm of friendship when you’ve just broken up. Ideally, it takes about more than half the time you’ve spent with your ex, to maybe be friends with them after you two break up. If you’ve never been friends before then it’s a tad tough and only time apart can make that possible.
So, take some time away from each other. If the break up is mutual and amicable, then definitely take time away and start a new association as friends. If it wasn’t an amicable break-up, maybe take a lot more time away, get rid of the negativity you hold against them and try again.
Break-ups are fairly hard but if two people are ready and willing for a resolution and want to take the dynamic from negative to positive by starting a brand new friendship, there are ways things can work out, and they can move away from the bad things that have happened and be good friends.
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