Getting out of a relationship is always a hard-and-mostly-dry pill to swallow. Fortunately (or unfortunately), everyone unites in this glorious department of heartbreaks. It’s like finishing a series you’ve binge-watched for weeks, and now it’s over, and you don’t really know what to do with yourself. Or your life for that matter.
Most of our communication with everyone today is so all-consuming, especially in the case of those who belong to ‘bae’ status. Imagine having their Instagram profiles, their Facebook pages, and Whatsapp photos just lying there on your phone as a reminder. Getting over someone can make you do a lot of things that you don’t normally associate yourself with. Going out a little too often, trying to get out of the boredom of having no one to text on the regular, a few extra rights swipes on dating apps — all of that is fine. Whatever makes you feel more at peace. Here are four things you need to keep in mind after a messy break-up in order to get over it.
1 THE BIG C
A lot of us hate change. While it’s alright to feel that way, it’s an entirely different matter altogether if you try to replicate what you shared with your ex. For example, you will not be able to find your soulmate on a dating app if that’s the expectation you have post-break-up. If you sign up for one when in that headspace, everyone kind of feels pheeka. There are a lot of really cool boys out there who will get you into a better place, and you’re shooting them in the face. Tell yourself that this change will bring about something positive in the near future.
2 SEX AND OTHER THINGS
When is it too soon to get intimate with someone else, or when is too long? How much is the whole relationship-sex equation intertwined in the millennial age of things? The truth? The first time you get physically intimate after a break-up might make you feel sad, bad or guilty, and that’s okay because you learn what you want at the end of it.
3 GROWTH AND PROGRESS
Jumping into another relationship to distract yourself is not going to fix anything. You may find the distraction appealing but it won’t help you heal in the long run. You cannot hand over your baggage to the next boy, who is even remotely attracted to you. Take some time off, read, go eat, and do things alone-because there are some lessons you need to learn from yourself.
4 MISTAKES ARE MEANT TO BE MADE
Your post-break-up journey is going to have a few bumps along the road. You’ll catch yourself crying about some random memory at 2 am on a Tuesday, but make sure you process all parts of that thought before you wipe off the tears. There is going to be regret about that guy you randomly hooked up with at a friend’s party but that regret makes for one hell of a story. Don’t take it too hard, because no one’s got life figured out. Learn from your mistakes, don’t beat yourself up too much and move ahead.
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