Tuesday, November 5, 2013

November 05, 2013

Anger Management at work

Anger Management at work


Try not to stress at work


    All of us work under immense pressure at the workplace, how you deal with that pressure is what sets you apart. If you’re tired of being constantly angry and dissatisfied at your workplace, here are a few quick remedies to help you be less of a sourpuss. 

ACCEPT THE SITUATION: You cannot change the way an organisation has been functioning, so just accept the reality of the workplace you’re in and try finding the good in a bad situation.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE: Stop mulling over the negatives and try dwelling on the positives instead. No situation is all bad. What’s the one area you can excel at or the one aspect you have complete control over? Look for the silver lining. 

STOP PERSONALISING THE ISSUES: What you’re going through is probably something many others have gone through before you as well. Stop looking at yourself as the victim and stop living under the illusion that the world is out to get you. 

STOP OBSESSING: Work to the best of your abilities and give it your best shot but don’t let it consume every aspect of your life. Set some limits to the amount of time and energy you expend on your job and allow yourself some healthy distractions in the form of family and friends or indulging in creative things which you love the most.
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November 05, 2013

Is an office romance worth it?

Is an office romance worth it?


Weigh the pros and cons of a workplace-fling before indulging in it


    When Stella first started dating Melvin, she wasn’t surprised to find herself the subject of office gossip. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on her and the romance and even things completely unrelated to her! The two ended up getting married but not after making the decision that she would leave the company and move to another job. Intertwining work with pleasure is dangerous business and can work both in your favour and against you. 

THE GOOD: A recent survey revealed that four out of ten people admitted to marrying their office sweethearts and having successful marriages despite the speculation that they don’t last. “One of the many advantages of seeing someone from your workplace is that you’re always around each other and that gives you a chance to know each other better,” says Andrea Barlow, sales executive, at a Mumbai-based firm, adding, “The one thing you need to keep in check is being discreet. On the practical side, if the relationship were to blossom and lead to something more, you’d end up saving a lot of money and time.”
These covert rendezvous’ have quite a few plus sides. To start with, the thrill makes work exciting and not just a tedious nine-to-five experience. Above that, however, you have the constant company of someone who understands an extremely essential part of you — your professional life. It’s that unique connect that most couples strive to find and it goes a long way in cementing the foundations of your relationship. 

THE BAD: Typically, the biggest worry is that taking your ‘work to bed’ is unethical and can go against company norms. “Indulging in a work romance can potentially ruin your performance at work. Ask yourself if you’d rather be known as the guy having a fling or the best performer of the company,” says relationship writer and expert, Pooja Kadam. “Dating someone from work can also give way to a lot of insecurities and competition. If you’re both equally work-oriented, you might end up chasing the same promotion and that
kind of rivalry, despite being professional, can be toxic for a relationship,” she adds. 

THE UGLY: Prepare yourself for the ‘what if it doesn’t work out’ situation, which, needless to say will be awkward and painful. The best way to ensure that an office romance doesn’t damage your reputation or work is to make sure that it doesn’t get too messy and other people don’t get involved. By doing so, you will only save yourself the pain of your career being put in jeopardy. If your ‘secret relationship’ turns out to be a disaster, you have to make an effort to be a professional through it all, which might be a painstaking task.
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November 05, 2013

Want to be happier? Bond with your mother-in-law, says study

Want to be happier? Bond with your mother-in-law, says study

New research says those who do so, lead happier lives than those who don’t

    Arecent study believes that daughters-in-law led better, balanced (and thereby, happier) lives and dealt with fewer disappointments and lesser resentment when they maintained a strong relationship with their mothers-in-law. The inference is that when there exists only one mother figure in the family, there may be conflicts with the non-connected partner. 

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN BOND WITH THE SAAS... 

STRIKING THE RIGHT CHORD
    Most of the time, she may not be sweet to you, bake cookies for you or even support the decisions you make. Even so, go that extra mile to strike the right balance with her to avoid difficulties at all times.

WORK THROUGH YOUR OWN FEELINGS
    Ever thought of putting yourself in her shoes, if only to check where her ‘meddling’ or ‘judgmental’ behaviour stems from? Do that and keep in mind: Your ma-in-law is one of the most important people in your husband’s life. Be sure it isn’t jealousy that is driving a wedge between you two. 

BREAK THE ICE
    She may be difficult to handle. But remember, your ma-in-law is different from you. Try and talk to her as much as possible. This leads to a comfort level and stronger understanding, sooner rather than later. 
 
STAY POLITE
    This is probably the hardest thing to do if she’s constantly rattling you. Says relationship expert and clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, “Make sure you don’t criticise your mother-in-law in front of your spouse. This may make matters worse for you.” 

RESORT TO HUMOUR
    Sometimes, deflecting criticism with humour can soften her barbs and also put everyone at ease. She’s constantly complaining about you? Get humour to bail you out. 

PRAISE HER OFTEN
    Definitely don’t go out of your way for this one. You may come across as a faker if you do. Simply acknowledge the things she does for you and the family. Sound and be genuine when you do praise her.
    Housewife Minoti Ganguly, 36, shares, “At dinner, I make it a point to sit down with the whole family and praise my mother-in-law to not only win her heart but also, to make everyone understand how much she’s still doing for us. This way, we’ve managed to strike the right bond.” 

CLARIFY MISUNDERSTANDINGS
    Don’t allow your relationship with the mother-in-law to be directed by her assumptions of you and your needs. If the two of you have had misgivings about something, sit down an clear it out. 
 

3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH A DIFFICULT MA-IN-LAW  

 
AVOID ESCALATING CONFLICT Not on the same page with her? Back off; end the conversation and a potential argument. 

GET SPOUSAL SUPPORT In the very least, let him know there’s trouble brewing. That way, if there is an argument, he’ll side with you. 

COMMUNICATE WITH HER Most women shy away, thinking it could worsen matters. Fact of the matter is, not talking to her directly, does that.


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November 05, 2013

Translucent saris, a trend this festive season

Translucent saris, a trend this festive season


Shriya Saran


Anchal Kumar


Mandira Bedi


Prachi Desai


    Peak-a-boo fashion has got a desi twist this season. From translucent saris in net to ones in fabrics like chiffon and georgette, the trend at the moment, atleast for those looking to do ethnicwear with a twist is to flaunt a bit of skin, but in the right, lady-like way.
    Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve had various sightings of the net sari at various festive celebrations in the city. The most eye-catching way to sport this trend is to pair together a blouse and petticoat in pop colours like Shriya Saran. You can also take a cue from Anchal Kumar and opt for a net sari in a bright, eye-catching hue with a heavily embellished or embroidered blouse. Or go slightly risque like Mandira in a noodle-strap blouse or more conservative like Prachi in a traditional sleeveless blouse and pastel net sari.
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November 05, 2013

Shed those extra kilos post wedding

Shed those extra kilos post wedding

Women often tend to let go of themselves post their big day, leading to weight gain and loss of stamina. Experts tell you how to take care of those kilos in a healthy way 


Don’t become lax post your wedding. Lose those extra kilos immediately
Don’t become lax post your wedding. Lose those extra kilos immediately

 

    Wedding is the time when most women take it easy. While they want to look the best for their big day, once it’s over, the waistline is the most neglected part of their being as marital bliss sets in. Says fitness expert Mamtaa Joshi, “While most of us make an extra effort to lose weight and tighten up any flabby bits to look good in our wedding dress, most women end up gaining weight immediately after marriage.”
    In fact, a study conducted in the US has shown that 22 per cent of newlywed women put on weight within the first year after their wedding, with an average gain of 10 kilos. The research also revealed that a third of all brides found it difficult to keep up a healthy diet and exercise regime once they didn’t have their wedding day looming to motivate them constantly. If you’re a newlywed, here’s what you should watch out for. 

WHAT LEADS TO POST-WEDDING WEIGHT GAIN Hormones play a big role in weight gain post marriage, say fitness experts. According to a research conducted in the US, the emotional
shift that comes with commitment can
cause a change in brain chemistry, which may affect our weight. Relaxing into a deep attachment to a mate has the effect of increasing oxytocin — the ‘love drug’ brain chemical that is linked to bonding.
    However, hormones are only a part of the problem. Often, women tend to relax too much and don’t take care about what they eat till they realise they are heavier, opine trainers. Fitness expert Vinod Channa says, “I get cases where many women want to get back into shape after their marriage or want to reduce fat, build stamina, strength and flexibility.” Seconds Joshi, “Women often come and tell us that they were thin before marriage and suddenly put on a lot of weight. I recommend a strict diet and exercise plan for them.” 

PLAN YOUR DIET Diet plays a very important role in losing weight post marriage. Says Channa, “Eat food that contains lesser calories and is less oily. Avoid bakery products, sweets and fattening foods. At night, prefer to have vegetable soup, tofu, fish, green vegetables and sprouts. Most importantly, keep a tab on your consumption of carbs during the day,” advises Channa. 

CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORKOUT If you wish to lose those extra kilos, select appropriate workouts that will help build strength, stamina and improve your flexibility. “Any form of cardio exercise with endurance training or swimming should be combined with diet control,” says Joshi. You can also burn more calories by selecting workouts for your legs and back or opt for jogging or yoga. 
 
TIPS TO LOSE THAT WEIGHT Exercise daily Try any form of cardio exercise or take up swimming Vary exercises on regular basis so that it does not become monotonous Going for a brisk morning or evening walk with your husband is also recommended Sleep well Have food with less fat percentage. Check your diet intake when eating out
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Saturday, November 2, 2013

November 02, 2013

DIWALI GIFTS WITH A TINGE OF TRADITION

DIWALI GIFTS WITH A TINGE OF TRADITION



    Most of the city is already gleaming with lights, and the excitement of Diwali is in the air. And today, on Dhanteras, most of us will go shopping. As you get ready to welcome Goddess Lakshmi, and meet and greet your friends to celebrate the occasion as well, one of the most important things on your mind is the gifts. Whom to give what? How to keep it less expensive, as well as unique. The festival remains incomplete without the exchange of gifts, but this Diwali, maybe you can get modern and yet let tradition take a bow when you choose those gifts. Yes, there are chocolate, dry fruits, candles, decorative pieces, jewellery and more – but what caught our eyes, as we went on a recce, were gifts that stood out for their innovativeness...
CHOCOLICIOUS The shops are loaded with an amazing range of chocolate this year. Traditional sweets and dry fruits seem to have taken a backseat, and we spotted even Ganesh and Lakshmi murtis in chocolate in one of the shops! Choco Creations has come up with a festive range of chocolate, which include chocolate greeting cards, chocolate diyas, and decorative pieces. They even have chocolate perfumed with fruity fragrances. Says Sandip Sharma, the executive at the shop, “The goddess has been a sell-out and this year, the demand for chocolate items has gone up.” In the other shops, we also spotted chocolate in strawberry, rose, honey, orange and mango flavours here.
THE TRADITIONAL TOUCH: DIYAS
    One can definitely add some zing to Diwali by gifting diyas decorated with colours and dazzlers. “Since people want a traditional touch in everything, we have those terracotta diyas filled with coloured wax, handcrafted in various designs – these are fast sellers. Many add these to the pack of namkeens/dry fruits that they give as gifts. Even chocolate have been customised in various designs,” informs Aseem Mahajan, owner of a gift gallery in Raja Park.
    Colourful aromatic diyas, and other traditional knickknacks in various shapes and designs are also selling like hot cakes in the market. An array of glittering lamps, door hangings, designer candles and idols are available to fit every pocket. “I don’t like candles as they do not give me the feel terracota diyas give. So, I always go for earthen diyas,” says Sonal Shah, a homemaker. Counters Rama Bhatia, “I love those small flat candles. They look very glamourous, plus I like to light them and leave them floating in a pool of water in the garden outside.”
THE PUJA THALI FOR INDOPHILES “I have foreigner friends, and they love it when they get traditional gifts. So, this year, I am going to give them the traditional puja thali, but with a modern twist – in metal, so that it won’t break or get damaged,” says Saloni Shukla, an entrepreneur. The shopkeepers have seen a demand for thaals, and even Diwali gift hampers of dry fruits and sweet boxes have been topped with puja thalis this time. Intricately handcrafted thalis with roli, kumkum, haldi, diya and dry fruits are a rage. “This makes a good gifting option for everyone. We have them in an affordable range, of 300 to 1500 in various metals. We also have ones decorated with gotta patti and kundan meena work,” says Rohit Singhal, a shop owner in a city mall.



Chocolate diyas, 450


Chocolate Ganpati, yours for 2500


Candles in various shapes


Aromatic candle diyas


Chocolate diyas


<< Puja nariyal sweet


Flower-diya cupcake


A lantern to light up your home
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November 02, 2013

WHAT NOT TO DO ON YOUR FIRST DATE

WHAT NOT TO DO ON YOUR FIRST DATE

You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Here’s what you shouldn’t do to spare yourself some embarrassment



    First dates are a tricky affair and can often leave you a confused wreck. Here’s a list of things you should NOT do if you want to win her over. 
Never check out other women when with your date
STARING AT OTHER WOMEN A sure way of having water thrown across your face is checking out other women. Do you think your date isn’t aware of the hot girl in the black dress across the table? Or did you think your playful flirting with the waitress went amiss? Well, it didn’t. She’s watching you closely, so keep a check on your wandering gaze. Having a roving eye on the women around you is only going to end up in disastrous results. 

SPENDING TIME ON YOUR PHONE Not only is the constant urge to check your messages or reply to your calls insulting, but it can make the person you’re with very uncomfortable. So, keep your mobile phones away as much as possible. Even if it’s an unavoidable office call, make sure you excuse yourself politely and make it quick.Being an avid listener will work to your advantage above most things. 

TALKING ABOUT YOUR EX “Nobody wants to know about your romantic liaisons or feel like they’re being held up for comparison with your previous lovers.” Says psychiatrist Aaron Cherian. “Keep that information to yourself till she gives the hint that she’s ready to talk about it. Nobody really wants to know about your sad past.” he adds. So unless you’re ready to hear about her romantic past steer clear of the topic. Fair play, right? 

SLOPPY DRESSING Good dressing is a must to ensure a future romance. You don’t have to suit up but dress like someone who she’d want to take home to meet the family and she just might do that. “I wouldn’t want him to go out of his way with his dressing but I’d like to know that he made the effort to look good.” Says Anshul Tiwari, student of media and advertising. A ‘devil may care’, slob-like attitude isn’t going to take you too far in the dating arena. 

MAKING SEXIST JOKES Making crude remarks and jokes might be second nature to you but in the era of the strong, independent female, this might not go down too well with her. Make light jokes, get a sense of her personality and then mark upon that dangerous territory if you must. 

BEING ARROGANT Correcting her over small things or talking excessively about your work and money can be a huge turn off. Remember that nobody likes a know-it-all. Projecting confidence and being assertive is good and most women like that but not at the expense of making her feel bad. Keep the conversation light and funny, this isn’t the time to up your knowledge on art and literature.




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AI Training and the Destruction of Rare Books: Is Technology Creating a New Information Monopoly?

  AI Training and the Destruction of Rare Books: Is Technology Creating a New Information Monopoly? Introduction Artificial intelligence is ...