Want to be happier? Bond with your mother-in-law, says study

Want to be happier? Bond with your mother-in-law, says study

New research says those who do so, lead happier lives than those who don’t

    Arecent study believes that daughters-in-law led better, balanced (and thereby, happier) lives and dealt with fewer disappointments and lesser resentment when they maintained a strong relationship with their mothers-in-law. The inference is that when there exists only one mother figure in the family, there may be conflicts with the non-connected partner. 

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN BOND WITH THE SAAS... 

STRIKING THE RIGHT CHORD
    Most of the time, she may not be sweet to you, bake cookies for you or even support the decisions you make. Even so, go that extra mile to strike the right balance with her to avoid difficulties at all times.

WORK THROUGH YOUR OWN FEELINGS
    Ever thought of putting yourself in her shoes, if only to check where her ‘meddling’ or ‘judgmental’ behaviour stems from? Do that and keep in mind: Your ma-in-law is one of the most important people in your husband’s life. Be sure it isn’t jealousy that is driving a wedge between you two. 

BREAK THE ICE
    She may be difficult to handle. But remember, your ma-in-law is different from you. Try and talk to her as much as possible. This leads to a comfort level and stronger understanding, sooner rather than later. 

 
STAY POLITE
    This is probably the hardest thing to do if she’s constantly rattling you. Says relationship expert and clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, “Make sure you don’t criticise your mother-in-law in front of your spouse. This may make matters worse for you.” 

RESORT TO HUMOUR
    Sometimes, deflecting criticism with humour can soften her barbs and also put everyone at ease. She’s constantly complaining about you? Get humour to bail you out. 

PRAISE HER OFTEN
    Definitely don’t go out of your way for this one. You may come across as a faker if you do. Simply acknowledge the things she does for you and the family. Sound and be genuine when you do praise her.
    Housewife Minoti Ganguly, 36, shares, “At dinner, I make it a point to sit down with the whole family and praise my mother-in-law to not only win her heart but also, to make everyone understand how much she’s still doing for us. This way, we’ve managed to strike the right bond.” 

CLARIFY MISUNDERSTANDINGS
    Don’t allow your relationship with the mother-in-law to be directed by her assumptions of you and your needs. If the two of you have had misgivings about something, sit down an clear it out. 

 

3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH A DIFFICULT MA-IN-LAW  

 

AVOID ESCALATING CONFLICT Not on the same page with her? Back off; end the conversation and a potential argument. 

GET SPOUSAL SUPPORT In the very least, let him know there’s trouble brewing. That way, if there is an argument, he’ll side with you. 

COMMUNICATE WITH HER Most women shy away, thinking it could worsen matters. Fact of the matter is, not talking to her directly, does that.