World news is not all paw-sitive





A Thai man is facing 37 years in jail for mock ing their king's dog, the Obamas have a potty training problem on their hands as their younger canine refuses to stop soiling the White House lawns, Israel's prime ministerial pet is in the doghouse for habitually biting VIPs and Putin just won't stop using his pooches to scare Angela Merkel -her fear of canines and its strategic ramifications dutifully remembered in trivia listicles as she was named Person of the Year by a magazine earli er this month.

 

Is international politics officially going mutts?

FIRST DOG SENT TO THE DOGHOUSE

You might be daddy's pet, but even you have to be punished when you've been a bad dog ­ till daddy manages to change the law,that is. Kaiya, the ten-year-old mixed breed rescued by Benjamin Netanyahu's son this summer, has taken several nips at high-profile dignitaries,starting with the Israeli prime minister himself. Bibi had to get a rabies shot but Kaiya still enjoyed his doting attention, being tweeted about and continuing to meet state guests. However, she doesn't endure petting by just anyone, and just this month, bit two VIPs on the same day ­ the husband of the deputy foreign minister and a member of the Knesset ­ at a Hanukkah ceremony. Thanks to Israel's stringent laws relating to dogs biting humans, even the prime ministerial pet has been put under a ten-day quarantine as punishment, prompting a bid by the PM to overhaul the “flawed“ system as it is incompatible with “reason or compassion,“ he wrote online. Because her latest prey were members of Netanyahu's right wing Likud party, many online have wondered if Kaiya is secretly a supporter of the Arab cause. Many have also tried to guess who her other VIP victims have been, though US Secretary of State John Kerry escaped her fangs when he visited in November. She even let him pet and stroke her, according to pictures from their meeting, without losing her temper. Even she knows risking America's bite is dangerous business, does she now?

A POTTY TRAINING PROBLEM OF PRESIDENTIAL PROPORTIONS

While First Dog Bo has had a shining seven years in office, the same can't be said about his younger sister Sunny , adopted by the Obamas two years ago. The official duties that Bo has carried out decorously so far ­ licking and shaking hands with visitors, standing to attention at par ties to keep away party crashers and the occasional squirrel, and spreading cheer in general where need ed ­ have been less than perfect in execution in Sunny's case. Just last week, Michelle Obama revealed that Sunny still takes poops in the White House when she manages to dodge the Secret Service. “Sunny can be naughty . She leaves the kitchen and she'll sneak, and she'll go poop on the other end of the White House. We're dealing with that problem,“ Mrs Obama said. If Bo has been the model of good behavior at parties, Sunny is a little terror who knocks over little kids.One notable incident is from a gathering to unveil the White House's Christmas decorations in December 2013, when Sunny jumped twoyear-old guest Ashtyn Gardner and toppled her over. She did apologise right after Michelle helped the toddler up, by licking her face, and Christmas was back on track. And both dogs will get their treats this Christmas, the First Lady has clarified, even if one of them is occasionally bad.

DOGGY DIPLOMACY

Most people wouldn't want to mess with Vladimir Putin, the stone-faced leader of Russia, unless you're fuzzy and have paws, maybe. His brand of macho is best displayed by his enviable photo album with wild beasts, but only his dogs are allowed to frolic or bark at him (the snow leopard wouldn't dare step out of line). Putin owns several dogs, his most trusted being Koni, a formidable Russian Black Lab who died in 2014 after a 15-year reign (almost as long as Putin's himself). She was often em ployed by Putin in his `my dog is bigger than your dog' style of statecraft. As a story by George Bush himself goes, Putin derisively `tsked' at Bush's frumpy Scottish Terrier, Barney, on a visit to the White House, for his lack of size and meanness. “His body language said, `You call that a dog?'“ Bush said. On Bush's visit to Moscow, the reciprocal offer of `you want to meet my dog?' was made, and out came a menacinglooking Koni. “Bigger, tougher, stronger, faster, meaner ­ than Barney ,“ gloated Putin. Thanks to Putin's regular shows of strength, Koni had ample exposure in scaring several heads of state, but her pet victim was Angela Merkel. The unflappable leader of Germany is said to be afraid of dogs ever since one sunk his teeth into her when she was little, a fact mercilessly ex ploited by Putin in attempts to intimidate her. It is well known how his dogs are let loose in the room when Merkel meets with him in Moscow. The most famous is a face-off at a 2007 energy trade meeting in Sochi, when Putin waited for the press to gather, and then had Koni make her entrance.She went sniffing around Merkel's legs and then buried her head in her lap as Merkel patiently sat ­ some say frozen in fear, some say without flinching ­ as Putin watched with “unconcealed glee“. As a magazine recounts, Putin said to her, “I'm sure it will behave itself.“

NEVER INSULT A KING'S DOG

In Thailand, if you question the king's dog, you question the king.And that's called sedition. A factory worker is facing a 37-year prison sentence for `liking' a sarcastic picture of the king with an infographic about the military junta's corruption scandal. However, these lèse-majesté laws -literally, `injured majesty' -now extend to the royal pets too. The man faces two counts of lèse-majesté, the second one being for insulting Tongdaeng, King Bhumibol's fourlegged beloved, in another “derogatory“ post. So sensitive is the canine treason topic that the local printer of the International New York Times refused to publish an article on it last week, and just left blank space on the page.
The accused's lawyer reacted with astonishment, but if the country's military rulers are growing paranoid and slapping sedition charges around like a piethrowing contest, he probably should've seen it coming. Tongdaeng isn't just the king's dog, she's the paragon of exemplary behaviour the king would like all his countrymen to emulate.