Don’t be misled by the name. Save-cation has nothing to do with saving money. It’s about taking a vacation to save your marriage

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REKINDLE YOUR ROMANCE WITH A ‘SAVE-CATION’

Don’t be misled by the name. Save-cation has nothing to do with saving money. It’s about taking a vacation to save your marriage

    For most of us, a leisurely vacation or road trip is a great getaway from our high-pressure lifestyles. After all, if you want a breather, what better way to relax and rejuvenate, in a faraway land, away from all the worries of a mundane routine? Now, joining the ranks of theme vacations, a new travel trend — save-cation — is taking centre stage. But unlike other holidays, this one endeavours to save a failing marriage or relationship.
‘Hail Mary Honeymoons’ Also known as ‘Hail Mary Honeymoons’ (like Hail Mary prayers that are an act of desperation with the hope to succeed, but with a low probability), save-cations are being recommended by counsellors to couples who are ready to call it quits. Radhika Basu, whose marriage was going through a rough patch, decided to take a vacation with her husband as a last-ditch attempt. “Initially, I was reluctant to give him another chance, but I realised that we needed some time alone to evaluate our relationship. So we took off on a leisurely, three-week vacation to Thailand, Malaysia and The Philippines. We had ample time to address our issues. It was a revelation. We didn’t sweep our problems under the carpet like we usually did back home. I think the change in our surroundings and a break from our daily routine made us to think of each other in a positive way.” The vacation didn’t sort out all their problems, Basu decided not to file for divorce. She is giving her marriage more time.
Leave the blame-game at home Psychologist Harriet Lerner, who has written the book, Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up, believes, “It’s worth a try, if both partners are committed to behaving well and being their best selves on the holiday, even if their partner is behaving badly. This means, there is no criticism, complaining, blaming, fighting, and bringing up of old grievances. Couples should leave the ‘to-do’ list behind as well. Going on a save-cation is a worthwhile venture, if the couple has genuine motivation to have a better marriage, and takes responsibility to manage their own behaviour, and not react to their partner in the old ways.”
    It’s not as if all conflicts between couples will disappear after a savecation, but they may be able to learn of ways to resolve their conflict. Left on their own, with a chance to enjoy great views, good food and some pampering, couples often rediscover the reason why they got together in the first place!
    Relationship counsellor Rajan Bhonsle says, “The common complaint of most couples is that their relationship suffers because they don’t get adequate time and privacy, due to work pressure or extended family responsibilities. And their sex life is practically non-existent. On a save-cation, couples connect sexually and get a chance to talk their heart out. In fact, many people have started taking compulsory periodic holidays with just their spouse, to better their marriage.”
    These vacations only work when couples are open to resolving conflict in the marriage. If people have decided to call it quits, no matter what, a save-cation cannot help. But it’s worth giving it a shot anyway. You know why? Because an expensive vacation is still cheaper than a divorce.
3 SIGNS YOU NEED TO GO ON A SAVE-CATION Constantly stressed: Because of your responsibilities at work and home, you get irritable and less patient with your better half, thus leading to frequent arguments and fights.
Marriage isn’t a priority: If your work, kids, extended family, friends and hobbies, all take priority over your relationship with your spouse, you’re obviously not giving it enough attention and your marriage may suffer in the long run. Less quality time: If you aren’t investing time with your spouse, by engaging in activities you enjoy together, and are starting to get bored in the marriage, you are not spending quality time.