It’s Your Life — Best of O-zone by Vinita Dawra Nangia

Is unconditional loyalty a virtue?

Loyalty doesn’t mean obedience or adherence; it implies keeping the interest of dear ones at heart by following your own set of values

    Years ago in college, the entire class would plan to bunk French almost every second day, while I would turn up for the class, forcing them all to trickle in, one by one. I had no desire to be the teacher’s pet; it’s just that I enjoyed studying the language. Years later in office, the entire staff signed a memorandum, which I refused to sign since I did not believe in what it said. It made me unpopular with colleagues, including some close friends. But my friends cared enough to understand and make up with me later; the rest never cared enough either way. And I lived with the satisfaction that I had not betrayed myself just in order to be one with the group.
    Blind faith or loyalty in a dog is a laudable virtue, but when it comes to human beings, it becomes a questionable one. Very often, we are expected to display loyalty to our in-groups — friends, the family unit, workplace colleagues, religion, politics or sports clubs — without using our own judgment, just because we ‘belong’. Hence you will often notice that many amongst an agitating group do not even understand the basic principle they are fighting for; they are just in it together. Use of intellect and adherence to truth are expected to take a backseat when it comes to standing up for, or with those we owe our allegiance to.
    So, if your mom has had an argument with the neighbours, woe betide you if you were to point out that the next-door aunty had a valid point. It may be clear to everyone that the boss’ viewpoint is baseless, but very few will raise an objection and risk being considered disloyal. On the other hand, indulging his every whim and assisting him in every desire, no matter how harmful to him, becomes recognised as an act of loyalty.
    When the emperor stepped out naked in the fairytale, The Emperor’s New Clothes, who was more loyal? The entire kingdom that pretended to admire his non-existent clothes, or the child who cried out, ‘Look mom, the emperor is naked’? Birbal is a good example of an adviser who tempered his loyalty with sense and intelligence, using wit as a tool to convey his honest opinions to Emperor Akbar in a court full of yeasayers. Nobody can question his loyalty to the emperor and yet he often disagreed with Akbar. But then you need a generous and confident Akbar to admire the Birbal in you.
    When truth and loyalty are in conflict, we should have the wisdom and courage to decide what to do. Unconditional loyalty is outmoded; loyalty should be conditional, based on our own set of values. A consciousness of this would give one the courage to take unpopular stances that go against the prevailing misguided opinions in groups. Silence can also be looked upon as complicity if we quietly go along with something we do not believe in.
    How can the consequence of loyalty to another be self-betrayal? Being loyal to someone does not mean closing your eyes to their faults; it means keeping their well-being and best interest close to your heart. Loyalty should not mean blind faith; it should mean an on-going reality check not just for our own benefit, but also for the benefit of those we profess loyalty towards.
    In fact, our loyalty as self-respecting human beings should be with our own selves. If you are a good human being, you are bound to do good not only for yourself, but also for the benefit of those you are loyal to; if not, you are not good to those who possess your loyalty anyway.
    Loyalty to ideas, religion and politics is good only so long as it helps us relate with like-minded people and protects us, giving us a sense of belonging. It is good so long as it does not encourage narrow-minded bigotry. One needs to keep re-examining ideas in different contexts and bring a new light and fresh air to old, antiquated beliefs.
    Most of us hold beliefs that have been passed down to us through generations without pausing to re-examine them in the light of fresh evidence or the changed reality. What good are ideas you adhered to at the age of 13 by the time you reach 50? Bring new light to well-entrenched beliefs, analyse and rethink them. Else you are deceiving your own self and being self-righteous.
    Loyalty must be tempered with truth and intelligence and must adhere to the values one holds dear. It should not be confused with obedience or adherence, but should be looked upon more as a feeling, an emotion, a bonding with someone for whose benefit you are prepared to go to great lengths.
The opinions expressed in this column are the personal views of the writer

It’s Your Life — Best of O-zone by Vinita Dawra Nangia. Available at leading bookstores and shopping.indiatimes.com. Or call 8010058888/8010558888. for doorstep delivery