My daughter is in FYJC. She has recently become short-tempered,
disobedient and stubborn. Most of the weekdays, she comes home late and
when asked about her whereabouts, she just says she was at a friend's
place and asks us to call her friend and check if we don't believe her. I
think she has been hiding something, but I don't want to confront her
as I want her to trust me as a parent. How to tackle the situation?
-This is the most transformational year in a child's life. Your daughter has lived a protected life up till now and her whole identity was defined by what the elders (teachers and parents) thought of her.Now she has come into her own. For the first time, she is experiencing a new kind of independence and freedom that college life provides. The transition can be slow and tough for the child as well as for parents. Relationships especially with peers and parents undergo a big change and a lot will depend on the adaptability of all stakeholders. You have to accept the change and try and respond accordingly .Building trust in your daughter is the first step and you are trying to do that. Once she is convinced that you understand her new phase of life, start to converse with her about your fears and misgivings. Win her over with your sensitive care and concern. Be there for her when she needs you.The emotional connect with your child will be your best asset. Children feel safe to confide and discuss issues when parents build confidence and trust. Your response to her behaviour will determine her attitude. Involve her in laying down accepted norms of behaviour and setting boundaries.
We live in a two-bhk flat with 18-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter. My son is insisting for a room to himself for more privacy and that our daughter should sleep in the living room. She complains that he stays up till late at night disturbing her, but she isn't willing to shift outside. I have tried to make my son understand that he will have to share the room, but he is adamant. What should I do?
- Both your children have to accept the living conditions that you provide to them and you have to convince them of the same. They are old enough to understand and sort out their differences. Encourage them to give and take. You have to be neutral towards them as children tend to feel sibling rivalry . Let them take turns to sleep in the living room and ask them to set the norms themselves so that there is no disappointment. If you try to solve their problems for them, they will never learn to work as a team. Keep the home environment collaborative and make sure no comparisons of any kind are made.
-This is the most transformational year in a child's life. Your daughter has lived a protected life up till now and her whole identity was defined by what the elders (teachers and parents) thought of her.Now she has come into her own. For the first time, she is experiencing a new kind of independence and freedom that college life provides. The transition can be slow and tough for the child as well as for parents. Relationships especially with peers and parents undergo a big change and a lot will depend on the adaptability of all stakeholders. You have to accept the change and try and respond accordingly .Building trust in your daughter is the first step and you are trying to do that. Once she is convinced that you understand her new phase of life, start to converse with her about your fears and misgivings. Win her over with your sensitive care and concern. Be there for her when she needs you.The emotional connect with your child will be your best asset. Children feel safe to confide and discuss issues when parents build confidence and trust. Your response to her behaviour will determine her attitude. Involve her in laying down accepted norms of behaviour and setting boundaries.
We live in a two-bhk flat with 18-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter. My son is insisting for a room to himself for more privacy and that our daughter should sleep in the living room. She complains that he stays up till late at night disturbing her, but she isn't willing to shift outside. I have tried to make my son understand that he will have to share the room, but he is adamant. What should I do?
- Both your children have to accept the living conditions that you provide to them and you have to convince them of the same. They are old enough to understand and sort out their differences. Encourage them to give and take. You have to be neutral towards them as children tend to feel sibling rivalry . Let them take turns to sleep in the living room and ask them to set the norms themselves so that there is no disappointment. If you try to solve their problems for them, they will never learn to work as a team. Keep the home environment collaborative and make sure no comparisons of any kind are made.
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