With an increasing number of
urban parents refraining from second-time pregnancy, here's your guide
to raising a responsible and happy single child
Whether it is the rising
monetary concerns, late first-time pregnancy , careeroriented couples
or the anxiety of going through labour pain all over again, a
single-child family is slowly becoming a norm in most urban homes. Says
Ridhima Sen, mother of a single child, “I got married when I was 32, so I
decided to have a single child because I didn't have the energy to
raise the second kid.“
Psychologist Anjali Chhabria reasons, “With
the exceedingly expensive life we lead today , starting a family can be
challenging by itself.Having a single child has become more of a
compulsion than a choice for many . For those who have a choice, a
single child can have both advantages and disadvantages.“ If you're
parents of a single kid or contemplating a second one, here's looking at
the pros and cons of raising onlies that you can base your decision on.
SINGLE KID, DOUBLE THE LOVE
Having a single child means you can give undivided time and love to
your kid. At the same time, raising a single kid becomes more economical
as parents do not need to compromise on their aspirations for their
child and can still provide the best of everything.
Says
psychologist Seema Hingorrany , “Looking at the escalating
expenses of schools and extra-curricular classes, having a single child
helps financially . Also, mothers who don't have much patience
and threshold of endurance, can handle things and crisis
better with one child as the level of frustration can be
moderated.“
RAISING CONFIDENT ONLIES
In many cases, when a
child has a sibling, heshe may suffer from the negative impact of
sibling rivalry , leading to insecurity or competition.But with a
single child, there are higher chances of the kid turning out to be
confident and selfsufficient. This in turn, results in them being better
achievers and extroverts with adequate social skills, quite suited for
this age's cutthroat competitive world. “These
days, parents are not willing to settle for mediocrity . I had a single
child out of choice as I wanted to give my daughter the best of
everything and spend enough time with her to equip her with social
skills. Today , she is quite a confident adolescent,“ says Pratyusha
Sanyal, teacher and mother of a single child.
Adds child
counsellor Sunayna Chatterjee, “Single kids generally excel in whatever
they do because of the undivided attention and financial resource for
better education.“
NO SIBLING, NO SHARING
With all the love
showered upon a single child, heshe might be very possessive about
hisher belongings as well as relationships. Hingorrany says, “Due to the
undivided attention that a single child gets, there is a high
possibility that heshe might take more time to learn fundamental aspects
of sharing and giving.
Parents have to take extra efforts to spend more time with the child, as
the child usually has no one to share his feelings with and express his
emotions with till he or she learns to do that with friends later.“
IT CAN GET LONELY SOMETIMES
One of the main reasons parents opt for a second kid is to ensure that
their child doesn't get lonely and has someone to support and care for
himher throughout their life.However, those with single children are
finding alternative ways to
ensure that their kids enjoy the same amount of interaction as they
would have with their siblings.
Software professional Rashmi
Rana says, “I always make an effort to expand my circle of friends and
give a lot of importance in maintaining good relation with my extended
family . Since childhood, my son has grown up amidst company as we plan
our holidays together. As a result, he has learnt to make friends and
has a big friend circle.They spend time in each other's house during
weekends and play together in the evening.“
THINGS PARENTS MUST REMEMBER
Encourage more interactions within the family and outside, by inviting
play dates, so that the child can enhance hisher social skills.
Though
heshe is your only child, don't spoil them by giving in to all their
demands. Set your expectations and ensure that your child understands
the consequences of irresponsible actions.
Allow your child to express hisher feelings about others having a sibling and the fact that they don't.
Once your child is of a suitable age,
provide an explanation about your choice of having only one child, and assure that it is in hisher best interests.
From the time they turn two, teach your child concepts of sharing and giving through stories, gameplay etc.
Spend as much time as you can with your kid to make sure that heshe is not lonely.
Bring
home a pet if your child feels very lonely as pets provide
companionship and often fill in the role of a virtual sibling.
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