Neither changing circumstances nor people can affect your balance so long as your essential self as a human being remains the same

Time never stands still

Neither changing circumstances nor people can affect your balance so long as your essential self as a human being remains the same

    THERE is this type of person I find amusing beyond belief — the one who varies his behaviour based on how useful a person can be to him. He will refuse to acknowledge an acquaintance with either a smile or a wave, waiting for the other person to come up and greet him. But then in the next minute, he will spot someone he stands to gain from, and forgetting all pride, rush to grovel at his feet!
    His smiles are measured and stingily allocated, his words are thought through, his gaze Shylock-like. You can almost see the business ledger ticking in his mind as he eyes a person, and decides upon the look he will bestow.
    Retired bureaucrats often complain that it is this type of person who serves to highlight their changed status
overnight as they retire from service. Most of us have experienced ‘changing eyes’ to paraphrase in Hindi “badalti aankhen” as we shift from portfolio to portfolio, job to job. The person who swore allegiance as you held one portfolio disappears from your life along with the post, and then reappears again when you take on the next portfolio, with a completely valid excuse for the disappearance.
    The other obnoxious kinds are the ones who wear the arrogance of their status like a cloak, looking down superciliously at rest of the world. Both these types just do not seem to learn the one lesson that life teaches us again and again — time never stands still; it changes for everyone, and we must make allowances for the same.
    What guarantee do you have that you will always enjoy the same power and position? Time changes, situations change, people change. The ones that do not change become extinct, frozen in time. The only thing that remains constant is your core as a human being, and this is what defines you — whether you are in power or out of it! What matters is your growth as an individual, the experiences you gain, and the lessons you learn. There is a lesson to be learnt when you are at the helm of power, and another to be learnt when you are out of it. Both lessons are equally important to the growth of an individual, and life ensures that we get a chance to learn both.
    The most respected and evolved people are those who are able to maintain a balance and keep a steady mien through ups and downs, through times when they are feted and times when they are sidelined; at moments of pride, and moments that may be dark and despairing. Through all this, the core, the person you are essentially, must not change. That is the only guarantee you can have for a peaceful existence that is unaffected by the many paths that life traverses, the many people who attempt to upset your balance. That is what helps you stand head and shoulders above the rest. 

    Here are a few pointers to help you remain true to your core...

• Keep in mind long-term goals. Plan for work, life as well as for a meaningful life beyond work.

• Do not try to please everyone; you never can!

• Be your own critic; do not be affected by others’ praise or ridicule.

• Recognise your self-worth. Focus on what or who gives meaning to your life!

• Never trust blindly — neither your circumstances, nor people around you!

• Create and indulge in meaningful activity away from work.

• Invest in good personal friends.  

The opinions expressed in this column are the personal views of the writer

It’s Your Life — Best of O-zone by Vinita Dawra Nangia. Available at leading bookstores and shopping.indiatimes.com. Or call 8010058888/8010558888. for doorstep delivery