The digital generation suffers from a symptom called the Fear Of Missing Out.Without the daily dose of like,share,status and picture updates,people feel frustrated,even inadequate.Shikha Shah wonders whether we are looking at a robotic future ahead where the machine will be our BFF
Dad:
We are going on a family holiday to Europe!
Daughter:
Wow!
Dad:
But there's one condition.Holiday time will be strictly family time.No phones,iPads or laptops allowed.
Daughter:
Thats not done.I cannot stay detached from my friends and the world just because we are going on a holiday! TS the most common argument in most families today.No matter how hard one tries,its an irresistible need these days to know what everyone is up to all the time,be it friends,family,acquaintances,colleagues,ex-es or even a total stranger.A better part of the day is spent checking statuses,likes comments and pictures uploaded on social networking sites,and a day without gadgets,that connect people 24x7,almost drives people insane.The fingertip generation simply cant survive without instant information trivial or earth-shattering,petty or important.You may have pondered on the matter but now theres a study that confirms this belief.
According to the Connecting and Communicating Online: State of Social Media study 2012,62 per cent of adults who are currently a member of more than one social networking site,say they keep an eye on sites because they dont want to miss out on anything.The study also says that this Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) is so severe that nearly 40 per cent of these people would rather undertake a potentially painful activity like reading War and Peace at one go,do their taxes,get a root canal,even spend a night in jail before even thinking of giving up their social networking profiles!
Eighty per cent teens sleep with their mobile phones near their pillows and send thousands of text messages every day even before they get out of bed.Says Natasha Dcosta,19,a college student,Its next to impossible to resist checking Facebook,Twitter,or my BBM every two minutes.Through them,I get to know exactly what my friends are doing at what time,where,and with whom. It may partly be curiosity,considering that people have a voracious appetite for gossip or general inquisitiveness about other peoples lives;but when this kind of inquisitiveness turns into obsession,FOMO creeps in.Dcosta explains further,I need to be available to my friends 24X7.What if one of them breaks up with her boyfriend or gets into an argument with her parents They may need instant solace.
Most of us cannot control the urge to text or call while driving and interrupt one call to take another without knowing whos on the line.There are nights when I am unable to sleep due to insecurity.I wake up in the wee hours of morning to check whether I have received any text message or missed an important call, says Kirti Sharma,40,a tutor.We are so addicted to these social networking mediums that we cant stay by ourselves anymore.I am aware that I am obsessed with my phone but I cannot help it.I have reached a stage where,if a friend doesnt pick up my call,I start getting anxious thinking she is ignoring me, adds Sharma.
FOMO is an uncontrollable yearning to be at two or more places at once;a condition fuelled by the fear that missing out on something can put a dent in our happiness,status,or career.Its also partly the product of ones growing need to be present everywhere.People are bombarded with so much information in this consumerist society that the anxiety of missing out on something can make them paranoid.
Says clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany,Due to various personal and psychological reasons,people have started craving attention.Today,we all want to be the centre of attraction and be noticed. Tinu Cherian,32,an IT professional who has 1.8 lakh followers on Twitter and posts a minimum of 40 to 50 tweets a day,says,I have a fascination for information.Through Twitter,I get to know whats happening around the world.I tweet regularly and 60 per cent of my tweets are automated.I schedule tweets in order to stay active on the site in spite of a busy schedule. The symptoms of FOMO include the inability to put away ones mobile phone,excessive texting,tweeting even from the toilet and showing up at events uninvited.Cherian says he feels angry and frustrated when hes unable to tweet due to network problems.
In the book Alone Together,American author and psychologist Sherry Turkle searches for answers for such frustrations by studying how digital devices are affecting our communication and relationships.She says in an interview to a magazine,Earlier,people used to think I have a feeling,I want to make a call.Now,its more like I want to have a feeling,so,I need to send a text.You dont know your own thoughts and feelings until you connect and someone tells you what you are thinking!
Relationship counsellor Dr Rajan Bhonsle says,I am dealing with a lot of cases where people say they prefer texting to face-to-face conversations because when it comes to latter,one cant control what he or she is going to say,and one doesnt know what it could lead to.People find the immediacy and unpredictability of a face-to-face conversation upsetting.
We are so accustomed to overuse of technology that a lot of times we unknowingly ignore the person sitting right in front of us.Cherian remembers one such incident from his life.A few months ago,Id taken my wife to a posh restaurant to celebrate our first marriage anniversary.Being a Twitter addict,I kept tweeting and re-tweeting till my wife got mad and just walked off, he says.
The influence of technology is such that we find simulations of life more alluring than life itself.Turkle writes in her book,We already filter companionship through machines;the next stage is to accept machines as companions.
A robotic future awaits us until we consciously make an effort to use gadgets as tools to communicate our feelings to other people rather than getting unhealthily attached to the machine itself.
DO THESE TO BE FOMO FREE
Try not to reply to a text message immediately,unless its very urgent.Stop being generous when befriending people on social networking sites.Ask yourself if the person will add value to your life before you follow them on Twitter or befriend them on Facebook.Define your priorities.The next time you are out with your loved ones,unplug by leaving your phone in your pocket.Develop a theyll call back attitude.If someone really needs to talk to you,they will call back.Simple.
Earlier,people used to think I have a feeling,I want to make a call.Now,its more like I want to have a feeling,so,I need to send a text
Sherry Turkle, professor of the social studies of science & technology at MIT
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