How to spice up your marriage after having kids
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It is possible to keep the
spark alive in your marriage even after you've had kids. This is how
you can add some spice to your relationship.
GIVE IMPORTANCE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
A successful marriage is the backbone of a happy family life. When it comes to building a healthy relationship with your spouse, it is important that you reciprocate to your partner's love and affection. Do not forget to give your spouse a kiss when he she comes back home after a long day at work. It will make your partner feel special. Small compliments and sneaking in a little bit of `us' time while the kids are at school or playing outdoors will rekindle the romance.
DATE NIGHT AFTER KID'S BED TIME
You don't need to step out of your house to take your spouse on a date, especially if employing a babysitter is not an option. Parents can have a date night even at home after the kids go to bed.Shivani Sardesai, mother of two, says, “We choose Friday nights for having fun together. We generally watch a movie in our living room. We open a pack of popcorn or chips. Also, we are completely at peace and don't have that `guilt' nagging us because we are not ignoring the kids.But at the same time, we also relive the days when we were just a couple and not parents.“
DON'T TELL DADS HOW TO SPEND TIME WITH KIDS
In a child's life, a mother and a father have very different roles to play. The general trend is that a mother is seen as a nurturer, and a father is seen as a fun companion who loves to play a game of chess with children even if they have exams the next day. Even though mothers think their way of handling kids is generally considered safer, it is advisable they don't take it upon themselves to advise the fathers how they should spend time with their kids. Chances are, this might irk them after some point and also start affecting your relationship as a couple. It's always better to say , `I trust you and you to do it your way .'
APPRECIATE EACH OTHER
Being in a relationship is fun since there aren't many responsibilities that come with it. But once you are married, you also have to take responsibility of the family . And it only increases when you become parents. Apart from paying the bills, cleaning the house, cooking for the family , you also have to ensure your kids are doing their homework, are healthy and spending their time in constructive activities. So, equal contribution of both the parent to run the household is important. Thank your spouse and appreciate each other for the effort they put in making the home a happy place.
COMMIT TO PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Sex is the physical expression of emotional love.Marriage counsellor and a mother, Ronita Ray , says, “Sex is one of the things that keeps a marriage alive. Don't treat making love as a chore.Enjoy the physical intimacy you share with your spouse, and even after you've become parents, there's no reason why you must not find time for a romp in the bed.“
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A COUPLE BEFORE BEING MOM AND DAD
When you have a kid to look after, co-parenting becomes the single most important job for you, and that's absolutely natural. But don't forget that you have to work a little harder to maintain your connection as a couple. Doing an activity together will bring you closer as a couple again.Play tennis or go for a picnic or a long walk together. Chuck the phone and have a heart-toheart conversation. Psychologist Radhika Dixit says, “Never allow your relationship to fade away with time. Always remember that you are a couple before you became parents.“
HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE
It is important that you look after your family and want to be with them. But in the process of looking after your spouse and kids, don't forget yourself.Do things that make you feel happy . It is important to improve your own emotional quotient so that it has a positive effect on the whole family . So, it is time to re-visit those places that made you feel happy like going for a yoga class, sitting in the library for some time, going out with your group of friends who make you feel happy or a spa treatment. “It is only when you are happy that you can keep the whole family happy ,“ adds Radhika.
A successful marriage is the backbone of a happy family life. When it comes to building a healthy relationship with your spouse, it is important that you reciprocate to your partner's love and affection. Do not forget to give your spouse a kiss when he she comes back home after a long day at work. It will make your partner feel special. Small compliments and sneaking in a little bit of `us' time while the kids are at school or playing outdoors will rekindle the romance.
DATE NIGHT AFTER KID'S BED TIME
You don't need to step out of your house to take your spouse on a date, especially if employing a babysitter is not an option. Parents can have a date night even at home after the kids go to bed.Shivani Sardesai, mother of two, says, “We choose Friday nights for having fun together. We generally watch a movie in our living room. We open a pack of popcorn or chips. Also, we are completely at peace and don't have that `guilt' nagging us because we are not ignoring the kids.But at the same time, we also relive the days when we were just a couple and not parents.“
DON'T TELL DADS HOW TO SPEND TIME WITH KIDS
In a child's life, a mother and a father have very different roles to play. The general trend is that a mother is seen as a nurturer, and a father is seen as a fun companion who loves to play a game of chess with children even if they have exams the next day. Even though mothers think their way of handling kids is generally considered safer, it is advisable they don't take it upon themselves to advise the fathers how they should spend time with their kids. Chances are, this might irk them after some point and also start affecting your relationship as a couple. It's always better to say , `I trust you and you to do it your way .'
APPRECIATE EACH OTHER
Being in a relationship is fun since there aren't many responsibilities that come with it. But once you are married, you also have to take responsibility of the family . And it only increases when you become parents. Apart from paying the bills, cleaning the house, cooking for the family , you also have to ensure your kids are doing their homework, are healthy and spending their time in constructive activities. So, equal contribution of both the parent to run the household is important. Thank your spouse and appreciate each other for the effort they put in making the home a happy place.
COMMIT TO PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Sex is the physical expression of emotional love.Marriage counsellor and a mother, Ronita Ray , says, “Sex is one of the things that keeps a marriage alive. Don't treat making love as a chore.Enjoy the physical intimacy you share with your spouse, and even after you've become parents, there's no reason why you must not find time for a romp in the bed.“
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A COUPLE BEFORE BEING MOM AND DAD
When you have a kid to look after, co-parenting becomes the single most important job for you, and that's absolutely natural. But don't forget that you have to work a little harder to maintain your connection as a couple. Doing an activity together will bring you closer as a couple again.Play tennis or go for a picnic or a long walk together. Chuck the phone and have a heart-toheart conversation. Psychologist Radhika Dixit says, “Never allow your relationship to fade away with time. Always remember that you are a couple before you became parents.“
HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE
It is important that you look after your family and want to be with them. But in the process of looking after your spouse and kids, don't forget yourself.Do things that make you feel happy . It is important to improve your own emotional quotient so that it has a positive effect on the whole family . So, it is time to re-visit those places that made you feel happy like going for a yoga class, sitting in the library for some time, going out with your group of friends who make you feel happy or a spa treatment. “It is only when you are happy that you can keep the whole family happy ,“ adds Radhika.
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